Page 13 of Love and Other Mental Health Concerns
“Yes, two days ago. Multiple previous admissions related to intoxication. Plenty of documentation that a referral to inpatient treatment would be an appropriate course. Unclear if he would be on board. My assumption is not but will be revisiting.” I try to give my most annotated information with a down to business intonation that feels unnatural. My silver rings are on a swivel.
“Agreed with the discharge plan. Let’s get him stable and you can meet with him later today to discuss, after we have some time to begin detox regimen, yes?”
“Yes.” I almost salute but catch myself.
“Fine, Lauren, walk.” And just like that, they head down the hall.
Several hours later, most of the daytime staff has gone home and I decide to check on Jax one more time. I haven’t been able to meet with him yet, since he has been sleeping soundly every time I have stopped by. I round the nurses’ station toward the last bay, and I can hear a muted conversation through the curtains. As I get closer, I can hear Jax talking with another man, and my breath catches when I realize that it is Nick he is talking to.
“I know man,” I can hear Jax explain. “It’s been tough. I can’t find work, and no one in this town is going to take a chance on me after all this bullshit. It was bad enough when I was just making a fool of myself with the alcohol, but now I punched someone. A beloved someone at that.” The strain in his voice makes my social work brain want to jump in and help him process some emotion, but it sounds like he is opening up to Nick in a way I haven’t been able to reach. I hesitate, wanting to see how this plays out, but also worried about how Nick is going to react.
“Man, I hear you. You are going to have some tough interactions after this. The way I see it though, you can either face that fear and make amends or give up. I gotta tell ya, towns like North River aren’t a dime a dozen. You have something special here with this community, and I have a feeling you can find the support.” The warmth emanating from Nick’s voice would reassure a mustang. He does seem to have a naturally comforting and engaging demeanor that people respond well too professionally, so it makes sense that it translates into these other areas of his life.
“I agree man, I have been here all my life, and I get it. But where do I even start?” He asks in the voice of a man overwhelmed.
“Man to man. That’s where you start. You apologize to Mike. You told me he isn’t pressing charges and wants you to get help. Make it up to him, and he will start spreading the word that you are a good guy and trying to get sober.” Maybe Nick has a second career in counseling. “Have you tried any therapy? Any Rehab?” I hear him ask.
“No, no man. Marcy has brought that up every time that I have been here, but I haven’t followed up. I know that’s on me, but I’m scared. Some of those places are a long drive from here, and I don’t have a car anymore. If I did inpatient, it’s at least30 days away from home, plus all the expenses, especially if insurance doesn’t cover it.” Jax explains.
“Look, Marcy is brilliant and dedicated. You know she would be able to help you through the process of finding the right treatment. Do me a favor and at least hear her out?” Nick makes a small plea. The butterflies I have been trying to keep calm in my stomach decide to ignite when I hear his faith in me. Faith in me when he doesn’t even know I am around to hear it.
“Ah I guess, not much to lose at this point.” I could ask for a little more enthusiasm, but I will take that as my cue.
“Excuse me, Jax?” I say as I enter their little circle of trust. I pull the curtain back, and Jax is sitting up in the hospital bed, with pillows all round him. His coloring is still pale, hair is a mess, and the stench of stale booze and body odor is almost overwhelming. Yet, sitting there next to him on a small stool is Nick Anderson. Bright eyes and handsome smile aimed right at me, acting like he can breathe perfectly fine, and he has just made a new friend. “Sorry to interrupt guys, I just wanted to see if I can check-in with Jax before I head out for the night.”
“Yeah, we can talk, probably not too long right now though, I am pretty tired.” Jax says.
“I’ll take whatever I can get, Jax. Nick, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?”
“Of course, nice to meet you Jax, I’ll come say hello tomorrow if that’s okay with you.” Nick offers.
“Please man, that would be great. It gets lonely in here sometimes.”
Nick nods understandably towards him and follows me down the hall. I turn on the heel of my boot, so we stand chest to chest. “I heard a bit of what you were saying in there, and I just want to say thank you. He clearly needed a different approach…or maybe a male perspective? Anyway…you delivered.”
He’s staring into my eyes in a way that’s making my palms sweat. “Does that mean you were the one eavesdropping this time Ms. Murphy?” His voice low, and grin teasing.
I straighten, not taking the bait. “You mean, was I coming to see my patient and inadvertently happen upon a conversation between my patient and a hospital administrator type who is a little too nosy? Or maybe he is trying to get some Information that he can wield when making his all-powerful department cuts and adjustments?” My nerves show themselves in that snarky and defensive way again. Is this flirting?
He hesitates before he responds. Then with a little grin he asks, “So it sounds like I still need to build a bit of trust with you, huh?” Keeping his gaze on mine, he gives a light and quick touch to my shoulder.
My stomach drops with just the brief contact, and it is so unsettling that my palms could now water plants.
“The truth, Marcy, is that I was wondering if you were still here and thought I would come find out. In the process of doing that, I recognized Jax from being here last week and thought it wouldn’t hurt to introduce myself. We got to talking, and he’s a nice guy. Simple as that.”
“You were looking for me?” I ask, feeling a bit of foot in mouth syndrome.
“Yes, it’s raining, and I saw your bike was still locked up out front. Thought maybe you would want a ride home? Still wondering that, actually.” He’s looking at me intently, completely ignoring the fact that I was just so rude to him.
“I…uh…sure. Thank you, that would be nice.” I’m guessing the blush in my cheeks would rival the local beets. My anxiety is awakened, thoughts of him potentially being a terrible driver, or a serial killer briefly flash through my mind.He’s just trying to be nice, you work together,I challenge myself. The worries calm somewhat, but still wiggle under my skin.
His smile is now fully reaching his eyes. “Great, take your time with Jax and I’ll meet you out front near your bike. I’ll be in the truck.” He gives another one of the brief touches to my shoulder as he walks past me towards the exit.
Of course he will be in a truck.
CHAPTER NINE
Marcy
