Page 136 of Jensen
“I meant for my engagement later on,” he says, lifting the covers off our food. “There’s a fight in the gorge tonight. I want you to come, as my wife. Wear that dress.”
No, that’s not right—I have to stay here tonight.
Wordless, I shake my head. He pauses, leaning his elbows on the table to look at me head on.
“Are you saying no?” he asks softly.
I wet my lips. “I just… You know I didn’t really like it last time.”
He puts a slice of chicken in his mouth, chews, swallows, then pauses. “You know, I actually don’t give a fuck if you like it or not. You came back, and we agreed you would be a good wife. That includes attending any and all events I need you to.”
“I’m just so tired—” I burst out.
He slices through the chicken on his plate. “Della, you will go with me tonight.”
“Leland—”
He sets his utensils down. “This is not a fucking democracy.”
His harsh voice cuts through the room, letting me know this conversation is over. I look down at my food, white sauce pooled over chicken and steamed asparagus. It’s good, but it’s not the kind of food I crave. I close my eyes, willing the tears not to fall.
Behind my eyelids, I see Jensen standing on the porch with a handkerchief full of crawfish. We stood at the sink, eating it and the gas station rice out of chipped bowls. It was the best food I’d ever had.
A tear escapes.
It isn’t about the food. It never was. It was about all the life cooked into it, about having a man like Jensen who loves me, who makes every minute of my life feel like it’s worth more than gold.
“Stop crying,” he says.
Hastily, I wipe the tear away and nod. He goes back to eating, not caring that I’m silent. He’s used to it. Jensen would have noticed, because all I did was talk his ear off.
We finish our food in silence. I sit miserably at the table while he gets ready. Then, I let him push me numbly out into the hall. My heart is so sore. Not just from this, but from the last few months. Instinctively, my body pivots to the nursery, hoping for a glimpse ofLandis asleep before I go, but Leland turns me around and points me down the stairs.
We’re in the front doorway when I look back and see Kayleigh, her shocked face peering out of the hall.
“I’m sorry,” I try to say with my eyes.
She shakes her head, giving me a watery smile.
“I’ve got this,” she silently mouths. “I’ll do it.”
My heart is pounding in my throat, but I nod, trying to smile back. Leland pushes me through the door. He holds the door to the SUV open, though not on account of being a gentleman. I think he’s always a little afraid I’ll reach back into that Harlan scrappiness and make a break for it.
If I didn’t have Landis to think about, I just might.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
JENSEN
It’s Monday night.
I take Godspeed from his stall and start brushing him down a little before dinner. My nerves are steel, the way they always are before a fight. That will hit me a few minutes before they lock me in the pit, but I need that. The only fights I’ve lost are the ones where I wasn’t nervous beforehand.
Godspeed raises his head, turning to the doorway. I lift mine to look. Under the entrance floodlight stands Brothers, a lone shadow. He doesn’t move. I take a step out and wait, but he just runs a hand over his face.
“Hey,” I say.
He comes closer, putting his hand on Godspeed’s nose. “I was pissed when you took this one. I could see even when he was young that he was going to be quicker than hell.”
