Page 87 of Offside for Christmas
"Do you?"
"Yes. No. I don't know." Cole ran his hands through his hair. "Ellie, why are you so determined to make me leave?"
"I'm not making you do anything. I'm facing reality."
"Reality? Or your fear?"
Her spine stiffened. "My fear?"
"You're scared. So you're pushing me away before I can hurt you. It's textbook self-sabotage."
"Don't psychoanalyze me," Ellie snapped.
"Then don't make decisions for both of us!" Cole's voice rose. "You're so convinced I'm going to leave that you're ending things before I even make a choice! You're creating the exact outcome you're afraid of!"
"Because I know how this ends!" Ellie was shouting now too. "You take the job, you leave, and I'm here picking up the pieces while you're living your dream in LA! I've seen this movie before, Cole. I know the ending!"
"What if you came with me?"
The words hung in the air between them.
Ellie froze. "What?"
"Come with me. To LA. We make it work together." Even as he said it, Cole knew it was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn't stop. "You could find another PT job there. We could get a place together. You could—"
"I can't go with you." Ellie's voice was dangerously quiet. "I want to, but—"
"But what? We could figure it out—"
"How?" She laughed bitterly. "Cole, we've been together a few weeks, and already we're facing this. You in LA, me here. And I know—I know I'm being unfair. I know I'm asking you to choose between your career and me when I won't even consider giving up mine. But I can't—I can't do that again."
"I did it before," she continued, her voice breaking. "With Marcus. I was ready to follow him, to make my career smaller, to be the supportive girlfriend. And he still left. And I swore I'd never do that again."
"That's not what I meant—"
"Then what do you mean? Because I don't see how this works. Long distance doesn't work—I've seen it fail too many times. And I can't ask you to stay when you have this opportunity. But I also can't—" Her voice broke. "I can't give up everything I've built here."
"So we're stuck," Cole said quietly. "You won't come with me, and I can't stay. You know I'm not asking you to give up anything, just be open—"
"I know. And that's what makes this worse." Ellie was crying now. "Because I'm the one who can't compromise. I'm the one who's too scared to take the risk. And I hate myself for it, but I can't—I can't do it."
Cole felt his own anger rising, defensive and hurt. "Then what do you want from me?"
"I want you to want to stay," she whispered. "I want this—us—to be enough. But it's not fair of me to ask that. It's not fair of me to ask you to give up the NHL when I won't give up anything myself."
"So what are we doing?" Cole's voice was strained. "Are we just... ending this? Because neither of us can compromise?"
"I don't know," Ellie said miserably. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be brave enough."
"Then maybe you're right." Cole grabbed his jacket from where he'd thrown it on the couch, his movements sharp with hurt. "Maybe I should go."
Ellie's face crumpled, but she didn't take it back. "Maybe you should."
"For the record?" Cole stopped at the door, his hand on the knob. "I would've tried. Long distance, back and forth, whatever it took. But you won't even let me try. You've already decided it won't work."
Ellie's voice was barely a whisper. "Because it won't. It never does."
"Then I guess you're right. It's over." He opened the door. "Goodbye, Ellie."
