Page 61 of Slaying for Santa
“I couldn’t letttt…” Bell’s slurred voice draws my attention, and she parts her lips to say more, but it’s just mumbled babble.
“Daddy,” Libi hiccup-sobs in my ear. “Bell saved me. She stopped the bad men.”
I nod, rubbing her back. “I know, sweetie.”
Fuck. I want to lift Bell in my arms too, but I can’t for the life of me let go of my little girl right now, all the fear building in me since she was taken rushing to the surface… but I want to hold Bell too.
Fuck. I care about her more than I realised.
“Sant…a,” Bell slurs, and immediately my eyes lock with her heavy-lidded gaze. “I slaye…d.”
Fucking hell. Even as she stares death in the face she’s still fucking around, and my team doesn’t miss her words, their light snickers filling the space.
Standing from Bell’s side, Wes moves to me, clapping me on the shoulder. “We’ll take care of Bell, mate. You look after your little girl.”
I nod, realising my emotions are clearly written across my expression, before I turn to Doc.
“She was nine hundred and twenty days sober until today. She’s gonna need our help… your help.” I clear the emotion starting to clog my throat, and Doc nods.
“We’ve got this, Viper.” He reaches out and gives my arm a squeeze right as Bell’s incoherent babble cuts off, and she starts to seize.
CHAPTER 21
BELL
I feellike a caged animal as I stare at the bedroom door, yet I don’t have the willpower to get off this bed and free myself.
I’m not a prisoner. Not even a patient. I’m free to step right out that door whenever I want. Yet I don’t. I can’t.
I just… can’t.
My entire body aches, like I’ve been hit by a train and then run over by a long line of trucks in its wake.
I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t even go seeking it out. Yet the crash of those substances lighting up my veins has hit harder than I could ever imagine.
One instance. Not even a relapse but forced on me by a monster, and now I’m terrified the moment I walk out that door, my feet will lead me to find another hit.
The fatigue and tremors only lasted half a day, but the emotional crash is what’s taking longer than I expected. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight the urge if it hits me.
The way I felt with the cocaine in my system… It’d just be so easy to say, ‘fuck it’, and give in to the temptation.
But shit, I came close to it all ending, and if it wasn’t forDoc’s quick response to my seizure, I’m not sure I’d be here today to dwell over everything.
I know it’s only been a couple of days since it happened, but I need to get to a meeting, or call my sponsor or something.
The rap of knuckles against the door has me stiffening, and I’m about to call out that I don’t want visitors when the door opens, and Kit’s blue eyes find mine.
“You’re awake.”
I don’t respond as he steps into the room. The guest room, I might add.
I guess I’m getting what I wanted in the first place. To be left alone. For me and Kit not to be a thing.
I don’t say anything. I can’t. My head isn’t right. My emotions are up the shit. And I feel like a ticking time-bomb.
Moving across the space, his eyes rake over me, lingering on the side of my face where I know there are bruises. They match the ones on my back, where I was sure I might have broken something after what happened, but Doc cleared me with a cracked rib. Not a break.
According to him, I’m as tough as nails. I don’t feel it though. Not today.
