Page 84 of A Simple Mistake
“What the fuck just happened?”he asked of no one in particular, face buried in a fistful of tissues.
“Well,” came Gareth’s thoughtful voice from the doorway.“The remaining evidence suggests that you were planning to make yourself a roast beef and horseradish sandwich to go with your coffee, and you skipped the bread and roast beef part.”
“I… what?”
Gareth stepped up beside him, picked up the open jar and held up.“Creamed horseradish,” he pronounced, then pointed to the open bread bin and the dish of sliced roast beef on the counter.“I’m guessing your mind jumped tracks from making a sandwich to making coffee and you grabbed the jar of horseradish to flavour your coffee rather than the dulce de leche I imagine you were going for.”
“Oh my god, really?”Jack blinked tears from his eyes.
“Really.Is there a reason you’re chasing a sugar high at two in the morning?”
It took a moment, but then his brain found the right thread and pulled on it.“Yes.Yes, there’s a reason.Though looking at this mess, I should have gone for a shot of whisky instead of trying to celebrate with coffee.”
As expected, Gareth latched onto the keyword.“Celebrate?Shall I go get the boys?”
“Gods, no.Daniel’s finally sleeping.Knowing that Pavel posted photos of them in a chat room asking if anyone’s seen them will only make the nightmares worse.As will finding out that Manville connected the dots by commenting that—and I quote—’The blond could be in one of my classes.I’ve been wanting to take a strap to that arse’.”
“You nail Manvilleandconnect the two events?That’s—No, wait.Let’s get this mess cleaned up first.Then I’ll feed you while you tell me how you did that.”
Jack didn’t have the energy to argue.They dealt with broken crockery and spilled coffee and then Gareth stuck his head in the fridge and surveyed his resources.
Fatigue washed over Jack, the wave fast and hard, and threatening to drag him under.With it came regret over depriving Gareth of sleep.“You know what?”he said, before Gareth had a chance to pick ingredients.“Sleep might be more use than food to me right now.”
Gareth looked over his shoulder.“You’re done hunting?”
“Not quite, but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be if I can’t distinguish between creamed horseradish and dulce de leche.”
“You have a point.”Gareth closed the fridge and held out a hand to Jack.“Come on, then.Let’s grab a few hours’ shuteye, and then I’ll feed you breakfast.”
“Sounds like a deal to me.”Jack let himself be ushered up the stairs, content to go where Gareth led.
The sun wasn’t up yet, but Gareth found Jack already standing by the back door, coffee in hand and his expression a strange blend of rage and guilt.
He didn’t need a crystal ball to discern Jack’s thoughts.Once he’d seen the end of the McTavish case, and had made sure Nico didn’t regret getting involved, Jack had focussed all his spare time on combing through Barrington Manville’s life.The hunt took him places Gareth didn’t like to see him go, turning him more and more into the persona of the focussed, emotionally remote hacker vigilante Gareth had encountered when Jack had joined Nancarrow Mining.Come to think of it, the image wasn’t too different from Gareth’s army memories of Jack.Knowing where this was headed, he said the only thing he could think of.“Jack, this isn’t on you.”
“If I thought you believed that I’d walk out of here right now.”Jack’s anger was an almost tangible thing between them.Then he drew a breath, found a smile.A tiny glint of levity to lighten the storm clouds of rage.“I picked you up from Rio with bruised knuckles not a month ago, so I know you’re full of shit.Thisison me.Not directly, I understand that—don’t worry.It’s on me, because I have the skills and knowledge to do something about it and I chose not to.”
“Bullshit.You do plenty.You track paedophiles and abusers while doing your day job and helping Nico and Daniel grow up.Feeling guilty because you don’t catch all the scumbags all the time is stupid.Once you get past your anger, you’ll acknowledge that’s true.Neither one of us can solve all the world’s ills.We can only do our part—and you do more than your fair share.”
“I’ll never stop feeling I should do more, because the moment I stop fighting evil, evil comes right to our door.”
Gareth wasn’t having that.The distance between them—just physical, he assured himself—was wider than it needed to be.He wrapped his arms around Jack and rested his chin on Jack’s shoulder, gazing at their garden as it woke with the sun.
“Talk to me.”
Jack fortified himself with a sip of coffee and leaned against Gareth.“I wish I could sleep, but my mind’s going a mile a minute,” he admitted.“And I’m not that angry, either.I just can’t decide what to do.”He blew out another breath, and the taut muscles in his back softened a touch.
Gareth stayed silent, waiting, ready to offer support in whatever form it was needed.It was easy to do, with just the two of them straddling the boundary between indoors and out, warmth at their back and their faces turned towards the fresh, herb-scented air of an early September morning.Jack often drank his coffee here and Gareth had wondered what drew him to this space.Perhaps one day, he’d ask.
“Maybe we should have let things be after passing Nico’s video to your mum and Baxter,” Jack continued after a while.“It just didn’t feel as if it was enough, you know?”
“I never told you not to go digging.”
“I know.Just indulging in a touch of self-justification.And wondering if I could have stopped Pavel catching sight of Daniel if I hadn’t dithered about going after Manville.”
“How so?You said last night—this morning?—that they shared a chatroom.”
“And then I didn’t explain it properly, I know.”
