Page 59 of A Box of Wishes
Ben riffled through the small stack of forms. “Anything interesting?”
“The companies they’ve admitted working for. Debt collection agencies, tenant rent recovery services….”
“Bullies for hire.”
“Quite. Do not even look at it now. I’m clean out of overtime budget for the month.”
“Maybe I’m angling for extra days off. I’d meant to go furniture shopping this week.”
“Have you thought of doing it online?”
“Doesn’t work for me,” Ben admitted. “It’s fine for cat dishes or a new TV. Not furniture, though. I like to touch and see it.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t check stuff out online and then do a concentrated shopping trip. Or even better, why don’t you ask Ryan to come with you? You’re dating, aren’t you?”
Did sharing tea twice a day constitute dating? Ben thought of Ryan in his bed, Ryan’s hands in his hair… “Sort of. Maybe. This time of year is even crazier for him than it’s for us. I don’t really want to hog the few free hours he has with stupid stuff like that.”
“Stop putting yourself down. I’m convinced that if you asked Ryan, he wouldn’t consider it unimportant.”
The flush raced all the way up to Ben’s hairline. “Sorry, sir. Slip of the tongue.” He’d learned to see Keith’s comments for what they’d been. Had been doing much better at putting them out of his mind. Only sometimes, when he was tired—
He jumped when Tarbert’s hand landed on his shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up. We saw it earlier than you, but not by much. He was such a slimy piece of work. Coming back from that takes time.”
“I’ve had months. Don’t you think that’s enough?”
“I’m no counsellor, but what you did last year was not coming back from an unhealthy relationship. You curled into a ball and waited for the other shoe to drop. Now you’re coming back from it. And you’re doing a damn good job.” The hand on Ben’s shoulder tightened to an almost painful squeeze, and then Tarbert let go. “Give yourself time. Don’t be hard on yourself. And if you feel you’re struggling go and talk to someone. There’s no shame in asking for help.”
Ben nodded, grateful for Tarbert’s gruff compassion and no-nonsense insight. Counselling was available to all police officers. After especially harrowing cases, counselling sessions were mandatory, but it wasn’t something most of them embraced easily. Talking about things that shamed him, and talking with strangers, wasn’t Ben’s way. He had Morris to talk to.
“There you are. I knew there was a face under that gloom.” Tarbert waited for him by the door. “Now get out of here.”
“Rachel has handed in her notice. She wants to go travelling before starting uni in September. I’ve no idea how long it will take to replace her, and with Valentine’s Day coming up. Ryan, dear, do you think you could help us out that weekend?”
Ryan opened his mouth, closed it again and sighed. “I’m not sure, Ma. I was hoping… Ben and I have been working so much, we wanted to—”
“You see him every day, Ryan. Surely one day won’t matter?”
Ben hadn’t been happy the last time Ryan had turned down a dinner invitation. They’d since spent a night together, but that had been in response to yet another emergency. Yes, they drank tea together most days, but that wasn’t all the interaction Ryan wanted with Ben. And—judging by the disappointment in his face—neither did Ben.
“Ma. Ben is important to me.”
“Of course he is, but I’m sure he’ll understand—”
The phone was snatched from his hand before Ryan could muster an argument he’d lose anyway.
“Aunt Bridget, you’re being grossly unfair,” Alastair said. “Ryan helps every time you’re in a pickle. Hell, he helps every time you ask! Can’t you give him one weekend to go out with his man without heaping on the guilt?”
“I was doing no such—”
Ryan winced. Hewasgrateful for Alastair’s intervention, but he’d no doubt hear about it later.
“Sure you weren’t. You forget that I know you. It’s cheaper and easier to ask Ryan, so he’s the first one you call. Maybe you should try calling an agency first. He does have a business and a life of his own.”
“Alastair Donohue—”
“That’s me. And you wouldn’t sound ready to deliver a broadside if you didn’t know I’m right.” Alastair ended the call and tossed the phone onto the counter. “Am I glad I walked in when I did. A few more moments, and you’d have said yes. And then where’d you be?”
Ryan dropped to a stool and sighed. “I was trying to…”
