Page 24 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
“Doesn’t really look like your typical gym, right?” Keira continues. “Seems fun, though! Wait till you see them in there. They’re all about climbing ropes and flipping tires and stuff. It’s very Spartan.”
I slowly turn in the opposite direction and… yup.
There it is. The empty building directly across the street. It’s the one I’ve been obsessing over online ever since Dottie announced my extra Christmas bonus. When my performance career imploded all those years ago, a new dream took its place. One I couldn’t let myself take seriously until now. When I spotted this location online, I thought it would be the perfect place to get started.
I even have a meeting with the building owner scheduled for next week, but there’s no way I can set up my new life in such proximity to Matt. That would be too weird. Right?
Keira seems to be having second thoughts of her own. “Actually. Maybe we should bail.”
“On the workout? Why?”
I follow her gaze, and my eyes land on the source of her angst. That elf assistant guy from the audition—John or Jim or… who am I kidding, I don’t remember his name—is running down the sidewalk with a huge heavy-looking sack on his back.
“Hey,” the elf guy says, out of breath. “Good to see you ladies. I hear we have business to tend to today, huh?”
“Yeah. Yes! Camera. I have. See?” Keira blurts nonsensically and lifts her camera like a little kid sharing her latest fingerpaint project.
“I do see. It’s very nice.” He laughs and gestures toward the gym. “Shall we?”
Keira stares at him, her mouth opening and closing a few times, but no words come out.
My girl is clearly losing it.
“Um. I think we need a minute, sir,” I say, slapping a hand on Keira’s shoulder and giving him a wink. “Girl stuff, ya know?”
The elf guy nods. “Say no more. We’re inside when you’re ready.” With a truly adorable smile, he picks up his pace again and jogs toward the building.
“Can I ask why you’re running around with a big-ass sack on your back?” I call after him. What can I say? I’m a curious person.
“It’s a sandbag,” he shouts back. “Makes cardio more exciting.”
“Ah.” I don’t do a thing to hide my disdain for obnoxious workout practices like this one.
As soon as he disappears through the garage doors, I turn to Keira. “Alright, what the hell is going on with you?”
“Was I weird?” she asks. “I was weird, wasn’t I?”
“Honey, you were very weird. Look, I’ve been trying not to push, but do you plan on filling me in at any point?
“Fill you in on what?” she says, playing innocent.
“Your life?” My voice ratchets up a notch. “Your impending divorce? Why I’ve caught you looking at that Elf Man like he holds the key to life’s greatest mysteries for the second time now? Anything?”
“He’s sleeping with his intern!” Keira blurts.
“Who is? Elf Man?”
“Stop calling him that, will you?” Keira snaps. “His name is Eugene. And no, not him. Tagg is sleeping with his intern.”
It’s so fitting that Keira’s husband’s name is Tagg. Tagg. He’s always been irritating. Like the tag currently itching me on my underwear right now. But honestly, I didn’t think he was capable of this.
“Tagg is sleeping with Elf Man’s intern?”
“Ugh, no!” Keira takes a deep inhale and launches into her story at warp speed. “Tagg left his phone open on the kitchen counter a few weeks ago while he was in the shower. I’d just gotten home from work after getting the kids from aftercare and picking up some meat for dinner and dropping off the birthday present for Sylvan’s friend that we’d forgotten over the weekend when we went to yet another goddamn trampoline park and?—”
“Slow down, sweetie, slow down.”
She stops herself and squeezes her eyes shut for a moment. “Okay. So this flirty text pops up on his phone from a number I don’t recognize. I don’t mean to read it. But it was right there, ya know? The words flashed up at me while I whipped together yet another loving, home-cooked meal for his incredibly demanding triplet children!” She winces. “I didn’t mean that. I adore my triplet children. You know that. And they’re not demanding. They’re just—well, they’re children.”
