Page 113 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
“People change.” He shrugs a third time. “Maybe I’m a shrugger now. And yes, I’ve always wanted to throw an ugly sweater party. But I never did it, because it seemed silly, and I’m realizing now that I’ve let myself get too serious over the past few years. I don’t want to blame that on Elinor, but…”
“I have no problem blaming things on Elinor,” I joke.
He smiles. “I just stopped having fun, ya know? Maybe I was trying to fit myself into the boyfriend mold she expected of me? Who knows, but I do think I’m a weirder person than I’ve allowed myself to be. So…” He takes a dramatic pause. “My New Year’s resolution is to finally unleash some of my strange.”
“Is that a warning?” I laugh.
“I think it is, yeah.”
“Bring it on, weirdo,” I say. “I fully support whatever you need to do to get over that woman. And, as your almost Best Man, I vow to further show my support by wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater imaginable to your party. Assuming I’m invited.”
“Of course you’re invited. As are all our Bossfit members.”
“Well, this sounds like a hell of a great way to ring in the new year, my friend. I’m excited.”
Eugene has done the impossible. He had me forgetting about Penny for a few minutes and actually looking forward to something.
“So how’s the living situation?” I continue. “You need to crash at my place for a bit?”
“Nah. Apartment lease is in my name, so she’s already gone,” Gene says. “She moved her stuff out this morning while I was here, and she’s staying with… friends, I guess? That Tagg asshole? Her parents? I don’t know, actually. And currently, I don’t care.”
“You don’t?” My eyebrows furrow.
“Please note I said that I currently don’t care. Last night, I cared very much. I read all our old emails from when we first started dating and cried my fucking eyes out. But today is a new day, and I’m feeling okay for now, so I’m running with it.”
“As you should,” I nod emphatically.
“And how about you?” Gene asks. “Has she called yet?”
So much for getting me to forget about her.
“Who?” I sit up and pretend to busy myself on my phone.
Gene sits up too and shoves me in the shoulder. “Who? Penny, you dumbass.”
“No, she has not.” I sigh.
“So get in there, dude!”
“Get in where?” I put my phone down.
“Back in the game! Get your girl back!”
“Hm. Yeah,” I say sarcastically. “There are just a few problems with that brilliant plan.”
“Let’s hear ’em.”
“One. She lied to me.”
“She didn’t lie to you,” he scoffs.
“The fuck she didn’t!”
“If anything, she lied to me,” Gene says. “Or at least withheld the truth. But I one hundred percent understand why she did it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah! It wasn’t her information to share! Plus, she doesn’t even really know me. Her loyalty is to Keira. As it should be.”
