Page 99 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
God, it would feel amazing to experience that at least once in my life.
I take a deep breath and hope for the best.
“I want to open my own dance studio where kids can learn to dance just for the joy of it, not because they’re being primed to be professionals or stars.”
“So you want them to be mediocre?” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.
I realize then that my mother’s not trying to be obtuse. Or mean-spirited even. She truly doesn’t understand me. It’s like we speak a completely different language.
“No, Mom. I want them to be happy,” I say softly, my eyes begging her to understand. “Just like I wanted to be happy when I was dancing.”
“Happy.” Her voice warbles. “No one is ever happy, are they?”
I almost can’t believe what I see then.
My mother’s eyes fill with tears.
I’ve never seen that before.
“Of course they are.” I place a gentle hand on her shoulder. “But it takes guts to find happiness, Mom. To follow your instincts. To go after the life you want for yourself. That’s what I’m trying to do.”
Her face softens.
I feel like I’m finally connecting with her.
It’s intoxicating. I want more of it.
I glance at my father, who’s in his own world, eyeing a different woman across the room, like his wife and I aren’t even present.
“It also takes guts to let go of the things that bring you down,” I say.
My mother follows my gaze. When she spots the object of her husband’s affection, her face instantly hardens again, the moment between us lost.
“I’m just looking out for you, Penny,” she sneers. “Teaching little kids how to shuffle-ball-change? No. You’re better than that! You know what they say, sweetheart, ‘Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. But you can. At least you could until you?—”
“That’s enough!” Matt interjects. “I’m trying not to overstep here, but that right there is some bullshit, ma’am. You should see the way your daughter works with kids! She’s incredible with them. We’re co-directing a holiday show right now. You should come see it?—”
“Matt, no,” I protest.
The last thing I want is for either of my parents to be present at our show next weekend.
“I’m serious! You’re amazing.” He turns to my mom again. “Listen to this. One of these little girls—Mikayla—was completely in her shell at the beginning of our rehearsal process. Now, thanks to Penny, she’s dancing up a storm, smiling her face off, absolutely loving being onstage. It’s beautiful! Maybe if you hadn’t put so much unnecessary fucking pressure on Penny– ”
“I think it’s time you go, son,” my dad says, snapping out of his lust-induced stupor and rejoining the conversation. “I can’t have you disrespecting my wife in my house.”
“Because that’s your job. Right, Dad?”
His face is granite.
I’m shocked at myself for saying it.
But I have no desire to take it back.
I turn to Matt. “My dad’s right. It’s time for us to go.” I reach my hand out to him. “Ready?”
He weaves his fingers through mine, and we head toward the door. But just before we exit, Matt turns and addresses my parents one more time.
“Eileen? Bob? Have the Christmas you deserve.”
