Page 89 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
I guess we’re doing this.
I scrub a hand over my head. “I’ve had maybe two relationships in my life. Everything else has been the occasional meaningless hookup. And those are… fine? But that’s not what I wanted with you that day in Santa’s House. That’s not what I want with you.”
“What do you want with me?” she asks softly.
“Just…” I struggle to find the words. “More.” I take a risk and place my hand on her thigh. “Penny, what I feel for you is already more than all those meaningless hookups put together.”
“Thank you?” She laughs and playfully shoves my hand away.
“I agree, that didn’t sound great! What I meant was?—”
“Matt, it’s fine.” She’s still laughing, thank god.
“No, it’s not fine.” I’m getting more frustrated by the second. Not at her, but at my inability to say exactly what I feel. “I really wish you weren’t driving right now so we could?—”
“What? Look deep into each other’s eyes and pour our hearts out to each other?” she says in a mocking tone.
“Yeah, actually,” I say. “I’d love that.”
She surprises the hell out of me when she immediately turns on her blinker, pulls off to the side of the road, and slams the car into Park.
It’s silent for a moment except for the cars on the highway whooshing past us.
“Alright, Barbera. I’m not driving. What do you have?”
“A fucking boner if I’m not careful!” I say. “Christ, that was hot, woman!”
She turns off the ignition and leans back in her seat, head resting, eyes closed.
I guess we’re done joking for the moment.
“Penny,” I say softly, “will you look at me, please?”
Her eyes flutter open.
She turns her head slightly to look at me.
She’s never looked as gorgeous as she does right now in this rental car.
I start slowly. “That day at Herald’s, during the incident, when it seemed like you wanted to take things further with me… man, I wanted to cheer. I was so… fucking… happy. But then I panicked. I knew I could not treat you like you were just any girl. Because you are not, Penny. You are…”
She keeps her beautiful brown eyes on mine. I have her full attention, so I may as well let my full ass hang out. Figuratively speaking, of course.
“You’re special, Penn. I knew it when I first met you, and you commanded that audition room like a boss. I knew it when we worked out beside one another, and I couldn’t get my heart rate to settle afterward, no matter what I did. I knew it when you joined our Holiday Schmoliday rehearsals, and those kids fell head over heels in love with you.” I pause, so I don’t get choked up. “And I really knew it this week when you visited my mom with me, not once, not twice, but three times.”
She really knocked me out with that last one. Not only did she attend two more rehearsals to work with the kids during her lunch break, but when we would normally part ways on the street in front of the memory care center, she asked both times if she could come inside and keep me and my mom company for a few minutes. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I swear my mom smiles a little brighter and communicates a little more clearly when Penny’s there.
“Somewhere along the line, you became a really great friend to me,” I continue. “I appreciate you, Penny Whitaker. More than you know. And I’m fucking psyched that you’re a part of my life.”
She reaches her hand out and interlaces her fingers with mine.
“That is some sweet shit you just said, Matthias.”
“Oooh, no. Let’s not do the Matthias thing.” I half wince, half laugh. “Only my mom calls me Matthias.”
She laughs with me. “Yeah, the second it came out of my mouth, it didn’t feel right. I’ll stick with Barbera.”
I give her hand a squeeze. “I like it when you call me Barbera.”
