Page 120 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
I guide her across the room and get her settled in her cozy armchair.
The staff wasn’t kidding about her being clearer in the mornings. I can’t remember the last time she brought up the subject of my dad.
I sit on the edge of her bed, facing her.
“That’s why I’m so happy you’re doing things differently,” she continues.
“How am I doing things differently?”
“You’re a good partner to Penny, aren’t you?”
Do I tell her we’re not partners anymore? That we never really were?
Though for a while there, it really felt like we were.
“Where is she today, by the way?” my mom asks. “I like it when she visits with you. You seem happier.”
Gene said that, too.
“You know what, Mom? I’m not really sure where Penny is. Things are a bit weird with us right now.”
“Hmm. You need to fix it then.”
“I’ve tried, Mom.”
Have I really thought?
“Hey, Mom?” I decide to seize this rare opportunity of clarity with my mother. “If you could go back in time, how would you do things differently with Dad?”
“I would have stayed his friend.”
“What do you mean? You wouldn’t have married him?”
“No. I mean, I would have stayed his friend. During our marriage.” Her eyes go glassy, and I know she’s remembering. “Your father and I were friends before we were ever a couple. Then… I let the friendship stop.”
“How?”
“Friends want what’s best for each other, right? They support each other, don’t they?” she says.
I nod. “They do.”
“Well, I stopped doing that. Your dad had dreams he wanted to pursue. I was always so worried about money and—” She stumbles on her words for a moment. “Well, all I could see was how his dreams would affect me. So I didn’t support them. And he eventually stopped dreaming.” She sniffs and nods, repeating what she said before. “If I could go back, I would have stayed his friend.”
The last thing I expected when I came to visit my mother this morning was that she would help me with my Penny problems.
But here we are.
And here’s the truth: I want Penny in my life. As my friend. I love the person she is, regardless of whether she decides to be with me. And I want to see her succeed.
Because Penny has a dream too.
And I’m in a position to help that dream come true. Or at least give it a push in the right direction.
“Thank you, Mom.”
“What did I do?”
“You shared part of yourself with me, and it, um—” I work past the emotion in my throat. “Well, it really helped me with something. So thank you.”
