Page 115 of Santa Has a Six-Pack
Penny
“You'd better start talking, missy,” Dottie says as she pulls me toward the conference room for lunch, which sounds completely unappetizing, like everything has this week.
It’s Saturday afternoon. We’re at Herald’s for the last lap-sitting event of the season. I’ve had to endure the agony of watching Matt being his undeniably charming, sweet self with the kids and grown-ups who have visited him all morning.
All while we’re still not speaking.
While dozens of strangers sat on Matt’s lap and whispered in his ear, I—the woman he said he loved a few days ago—kept my distance. There were more than a few moments when I felt him seeking my eye contact, but this is neither the time nor the place for us to hash things out further, so each time I averted my eyes and busied myself with unimportant tasks.
“What do you want me to say, Dot?” I ask.
“What in the world happened with Matt?” she asks, as if the question were obvious to me.
“What do you mean? Matt did great this morning,” I say. “As usual.”
Everyone at Herald’s agrees that our first World’s Fittest Santa Contest has been a huge success.
Everyone except me.
After all, this contest is the whole reason I’m nursing this broken heart. Then again, if the contest had never happened, I never would’ve met Matt. And despite the pain I’m feeling right now, I can’t wish away the time I spent with him.
He changed me.
In the best possible ways.
I’m softer now, I think.
I allow myself to feel more.
And boy am I feeling things right now.
“How would you know Matt did great?” Keira asks. “You barely looked at him all morning. Except when his back was turned, and I caught you staring at him all misty-eyed.”
Damnit, my eyes are getting misty again.
Dottie wraps an arm around my shoulder as we walk. “Seriously, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
That simple act of motherly affection from Dottie is enough for the waterworks to break free full force. Only this time, I’m not in the privacy of my own home bawling into my pillow, which has become my nightly ritual this week. Now, I am in the middle of my workplace where anyone can see me.
Including Matt.
“Get in here, honey,” Dottie ushers me into the conference room and pulls out a chair for me. “Sit down.”
Keira closes the door and locks it behind us.
“I just– I miss him.” I continue to cry.
“I’m confused, cutie.” Dottie strokes my hair. “Were you ever with him?”
“Yes,” I sniffle. “No. Well, we sort of were, but now we’re definitely not.”
I feel terrible for not confiding in my friends about what had been happening between me and Matt. Over the past month, I fell head over heels in love with him.
Now it’s over, and they never even knew.
Dottie’s brows furrow. “I’m not following, Penny baby.”
I sigh and let the words tumble out as quickly as they can exit my mouth. “Remember last month when you forced me to sit on Matt’s rock-hard lap for those social media pictures? Well, we ended up making out like crazy in Santa’s House immediately after, while you two ate your Cobb salads. It was hot. It was amazing, actually! But he pulled away from me, I got defensive, and I literally left him standing there with his velvet pants around his ankles. I thought he wasn’t interested in me in that way, but it turns out he didn’t want me to be some workplace fling because he thought we could be something more. Something special.”
