Page 94 of Sharkbait
“I heard that, yeah. It’s very sad.”
“And he’s still working! Even though he’s sick! You know why?”
“Why?” I rub small circles on her back.
Is it wrong that I will soak up any chance to be close to her, no matter how bizarre the circumstances may be?
“Because he loves his fans and the work he does so damn much. He is the epitome of a good man. So smart, so kind. So strong. And now, such an amaaaaaaaaaazing dentist too. Is there anything he can’t do?”
I take a breath in to say something.
She cuts me off. “No. The answer is no, James.” She sighs. “It was a dream come true to meet him in real life, to have him in my mouth and to shake his hand.”
“Is that what you thought you were shaking?” I ask. “His hand?”
We continue to dance.
“Yes? Why?”
“Because,” I start softly, “and don’t worry or feel bad about this because I already talked to him, and everything is fine, but… you grabbed the man’s balls.”
She stops dancing.
She lifts her head from my shoulder.
Her eyes widen like saucers.
And then she laughs.
And laughs and laughs.
“Hahahahaha. Oh my God, you are so funny! That’s one of the things I love about you, James! You’re so damn funny!”
“Thank you.”
“And sweet. And sexy. Did I mention that you’re sexy?”
“You did, actually. A few times.”
“Sorry.” Her nose scrunches up in this adorable way.
“You never have to be sorry for calling me sexy, Cold Brew.”
She smiles and rests her head on my shoulder again.
“You‘re a lot like him, you know.”
“Like who?”
“Alex Trebek. He’s smart, kind, and comforting. Just like you. America’s dad. Not that you’re like a dad to me.” She giggles.
“I should hope not.” I try to laugh with her, but this shit is getting weirder by the second.
“But you are like nine years older than me, though. Is that old enough for me to call you Daddy? Like in the hot way?”
“Gosh, I-I don‘t know. Maybe we should table this discussion until you’re—”
Louise lets out a huge yawn as she says, “I bet you’ll be a good dad one day.”
