Page 92 of Sharkbait
She called me baby.
“Hey, you. How are you feeling?”
I walk over to her and give her a kiss on the forehead.
“Amaaaaaaaaazing.”
“Oh yeah?” I chuckle. “Glad to hear it.”
“Holdmyhandholdmyhandholdmyhand,” she slurs.
I take a seat beside her and weave her fingers with mine.
“That feels amaaaaaaaaazing.”
“So,” I start. “The doctor said everything went well, but he did mention that—”
“Ohmygosh I have to tell you what just happened. It was...” She closes her eyes momentarily and revels in whatever memory she’s having.
“Let me guess. Was it amaaaaaaaazing?” I smile and stroke her hair.
Her eyes pop back open. “It was! How did you know?”
“Just a guess. Go on. Tell me.”
“Alex Trebek is my doctor!”
I look toward the door where Alec just left, then back at Louise.
“Ohhhhh,” I say as the situation becomes clear.
His name is Alec.
He has gray hair.
And he has a mustache.
“Does Alex Trebek still have a mustache, though?” I mistakenly say aloud.
“It’s back!” she says. “The mustache is back! And I’m so happy about that! Can we kiss? I’d really like to kiss you now.”
She reaches her arms up and places both hands on my cheeks, ready for a puffy-cheeked, gauze-filled kiss.
Even in this state, she somehow manages to be beautiful.
I take her gently by the wrists. “Louise, listen. I’d love to kiss you any day of the week, but it’s probably not the best idea right now.”
“Awwwww. Whyyyyyy?” she whines.
I look at her adorable cheeks and marvel at how well she’s articulating her words right now. Or maybe she’s not, and I’m just tuned in to her and can translate the garble.
“Well, remember how you just had oral surgery?”
“I’d like to give youuuuuuuu oral surgery,” she says, then cackles like a wild woman and grabs for my pants.
“Alright, alright, lady.” I gently pull her hand away. “That can wait until you are fully consenting and not under the influence of an anesthetic.”
“Awwwww.” She rolls her head side to side on the reclining chair in a mini-tantrum of sorts. “I’m serious, though! You’re so sexy. You’re like the sexiest.”
