Page 90 of Sharkbait
“Yeah. Bedmates? Hookups? Bone buddies? Because I can tell you from my experience when Wally sleeps over…” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “They do not like that.”
I’m sure it’s just a well-timed coincidence, but at that moment, I swear the mantis on the right—Clyde—looks into my eyes and trembles.
When I turn to Mabel, she’s stopped bouncing. She’s sitting cross-legged on the air mattress, her eyes wide in expectation.
“Oh. You want me to actually answer that question?”
“I do. If I’ve learned anything while navigating the new relationship with my parents these past few months, it’s thatwhen dealing with humans, setting boundaries and expectations is key. So yes, please answer the question.”
I look at James. He holds his hands up in surrender. He’s not touching this conversation with a ten-foot pole.
“If... I end up having a... boning buddy,” I say to Mabel. “I will do my best to... bone off the premises.”
She leaps to her feet. “Oh good. That’s settled, then. Not that I don’t want you to have a fulfilling sex life because I really am gunnin’ for you two crazy kids to consummate. I just think for your own safety, it’s best that you don’t do it here. So. Should we order some takeout?”
“Aah!” I say and cradle my cheek.
“I know!” Mabel says. “I’m excited too. So many awesome takeout options in this neighborhood. What are you thinking? Thai? Barbecue? Doritos Crunch Crust Pizza?”
“Alright, that’s it,” James says.
“The Doritos Crunchy Crust? Yay! Wally won’t eat it with me!”
“I’ll need to take a rain check on that one. Louise is in pain.” He places a hand on my lower back. “We need to get you checked out.”
“We?” I ask.
“Your jaw has been hurting for over a week now, and I can’t stand by and watch you suffer when you don’t have to.” He brushes the hair off my forehead. “And yeah, we. Boning or not, there’s a we here now. You know it, and I know it.”
“And Mabel knows it,” my endlessly peppy friend adds.
I hesitate. “I don’t think I can, though. I think my wisdom teeth are impacted, and my insurance isn’t—”
“Don’t worry, Cold Brew. I know a guy.”
“You know a guy?”
He winks. “I know a guy.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
James
Three hours later, I’m sitting in a waiting room at The Oral Surgery Center of Greater Philadelphia, waiting for word that I can go back and see Louise.
My buddy Alec took excellent care of her.
Louise was right. It was a wisdom tooth issue. Hers were so impacted she needed to be fully put under for the procedure. She was pretty nervous about that, but I told her I’d wait there with her and escort her home afterward. That seemed to calm her down somewhat.
My knee won’t stop bouncing while I alternate between watching the clock and the door.
After what feels like an eternity, Alec finally opens the door and gestures for me to follow him. “You can come on back, kid. She’s awake.”
We walk side by side down a long white hallway.
How’s she doing?” I ask.
“She’s... interesting.”
