Page 16 of Sharkbait
“What?” I huff.
“Your vibe tonight is tweaked.”
“My vibe is not tweaked.”
“You’re tweaky deaky eggs and beaky, baby.”
I give her a look. Because what in the world do you say tosomething like that?
“Just trying to get you to laugh, Anderson.”
She pushes my shoulder, and I stumble. Calliope is the definition of ‘small but mighty.’ She’s got freakish strength hiding in that itty bitty body.
We both turn to face the door again.
“What did you mean before when you said, ‘Of course you don’t?’” I ask.
“Huh? And ew, I do not like that impression you just did of me.”
“Sorry. You asked me before if I wanted to talk about my day. When I said ‘no’ you got all snarky and said ‘of course you don’t.’”
“Oh. You never want to talk about your own issues. You’re awesome at encouraging and counseling your friends, but you’d never in a million years let us do that for you.”
“That is completely…”
True,the voice in my head says.That’s completely true.
Do I tell her that on my very first day as a full-time staff member at the aquarium, I completely froze when my boss asked me to join her in the water? That my heart pounded like crazy, and I stood there in complete wide-eyed silence until she absolved me from joining her on the raft?
When it becomes clear I’m not going to finish my statement, Calliope pats me on the back and smiles.
She’s letting me off the hook.
“I’m sorry to be... tweaky.” I sigh. “I’m just hangry.”
“Well, say no more, sister friend! Hanger we can handle!” She whips out her phone and scrolls. “Mabes said she was ordering food. Check out this text she sent me an hour ago.”
I take the sparkly purple phone from her and read the end of their text thread out loud. “I like my wings like I like my men. Spicy! Hope you do too. #MabelUnleashed.”
Calliope takes her phone back and chuckles. “Just my opinion, but if Mabel wasreallyunleashed, she would already be living with Wally. We know it’s only a matter of time before they move in together, so why delay the inevitable?”
“The point is that Mabel is smart,” I counter. “And moving in with a man too fast is the death knell of a relationship. She’san independent, bug-loving woman who doesn’t need a man to take care of her.”
Calliope takes a deep breath and launches into her rebuttal. “Excuse me, sister friend—”
“Please stop calling me ‘sister friend.’
“Aw,” she whines. “It’s so cute!”
“Is it, though? It makes me feel like we’re in a plural marriage. And the fact that your beloved is my brother makes that scenario hella creepy.”
“It’s a term of endearment, ya dork! You’re my friend. And for all intents and purposes, you are my sister-in-law. Hence, you are my sister friend.”
“Fine.”
I’ve learned that giving up is the easiest option when sparring with Calliope.
She smiles triumphantly. “Fantastic. May I return to my outrage at your asinine insinuation about female freedom?”
