Page 146 of Sharkbait
When I finish, Gail says, “I only have one question. Why the hell aren’t you packing your bags for Hawaii right now?”
“Did you hear anything I said?”
“Yeah! I heard every word. Did you? Louise, you’re so in love with this guy you can barely see straight.” She pauses. “I’m about to say something big and profound. Are you ready?”
“I’m ready,” I say.
“Are you sure? Because I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.”
“I’m ready for the jelly!” I laugh. “Please, say whatever you need to say.”
“You can stop punishing yourself now.”
“Punishing myself? For what?”
“For the way other people have treated you.”
Tears well behind my eyes. “I don’t know what you’re—”
“Your dad’s shortcomings aren’t your fault.”
“I know that,” I scoff.
“Neither were Trent’s or Aidan’s and whoever the hell came before them. Louise, the only thing you’re guilty of is giving too many chances to people who didn’t deserve them. They didn’t deserveyou. Seems to me that finally a guy comes around who is more than worthy of you—I mean, with everything you’ve toldme, evenI’mconsidering taking Mr. Adventure Bar Refrigerator Man for a spin—”
“I’m going to tell Hannah you said that!” I laugh.
“Just trying to get you to laugh, Lou. Mission accomplished.” I can hear her smile through the phone.
“Shouldn’t I be able to be on my own, though?” I ask quietly.
“You should, yes. And you are. But when you find the right person…” Her voice softens. “Why should you have to?”
I watch the sun rise while I sip my coffee and let that sink in.
Then I surprise even myself when I say, “I’m sorry for the way I treated you sophomore year. It wasn’t right.”
“Whoa, Nelly! Where did that come from?”
“I’ve owed you an apology for a long time, Gail.”
She pauses. “Are we really talking about this right now?”
“Yeah. We are. I am.” I swallow. “I said I didn’t know you had feelings for me. And I believed that at the time. But some part of me knew. I think I was just… afraid to lose that feeling.
“What feeling?” she asks.
“Having another person really see me? It was intoxicating,” I say. “I fell in love with that feeling.”
“While I was falling in love with you.”
“Yeah. I’m truly sorry, Gail.”
“Water under the bridge, lady. We came out on the other side just fine, didn’t we? The question is, what are you going to do now? Because… Refrigerator Sex Man sees you too.”
“Oh my God, you really have to stop calling him that!” I laugh.
“Excuse me,” she fires back. “You literally texted me the words ‘I broke up with refrigerator sex man.’”
