Page 143 of Sharkbait
She stares at the ground and kicks some tiny pebbles with her boot.
“You’re angry that I bought this ticket for you without talking to you first?”
She nods.
“Okay. I get that. I knew it was a risk, but I wanted you to know how serious I am about you. And… maybe I’ve watched too many movies, I don’t know.” I try to make her laugh. It doesn’t work this time.
“I can’t just change my whole life for a guy,” she says.
“Of course not. I don’t want you to change a damn thing.”
“Just where I live, what I do for my career…” she says with a healthy dose of sarcasm.
I place my hands on her shoulders and run them down her arms.
I take both of her hands in mine.
“So we do this long distance,” I say. “Forget the plane ticket. We’ll tear it up. We’ll forget I ever mentioned it. I’ve been making monthly trips across country for almost a year now. I’ll keep doing it to be with you. However you want to make this work, baby, I’m in.”
“I’m going to text Calliope to come pick me up,” she says.
“What? No. We can talk some more on the drive back to Mabel’s. Or not talk. Whatever you want. Let’s just get back in the car and—”
“No, James. I need some space. Now.”
She drops her hands from mine and sends the text.
I look up at the sky and blow out a breath.
A few seconds tick by.
I respond as calmly as I can. “Fine. I’ll, um—I’ll wait in the car until I see her pick you up.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I’m not leaving you on the side of the road when it’s barely daylight.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me.” Her energy ratchets up again.
“I love you, Louise.”
Her breath cuts off.
Her eyes go wide.
Not a single sound comes out of her mouth.
Not exactly the response I was looking for. But I’m in so deep at this point, there’s no sense in holding back.
“You don’t want to hear that, huh? Well, guess what, Cold Brew? I don’t care. I fucking love you, and I need you to know that. These feelings I have for you have been building up inside me since the moment I saw you. They get more intense every minute I spend with you, and if I don’t let some of it reach you in a way you can understand?” I tap my palm on my chest. “I’m gonna burst. You say you want something casual, something ‘on the surface.’ But you don’t. Not with me. With me, you want it all.”
A tear rolls down her cheek.
It absolutely kills me not to wrap her in my arms and comfort her.
But I don’t know how many more times I can handle her pushing me away.
“What are you afraid of?” I ask gently.
