Page 115 of Sharkbait
“Don’t call me Wheezy,” I seethe.
“I’m sorry. What were you going through, Louise?” he corrects.
“Life, dude! We were going through life! Didn’t you want to be a part of that? Witness that? I mean, come on! James lives four thousand nine hundred and eight miles from his daughter in Hawaii, and he travels there every single month for an entire week to be with her.”
When I calmed down enough after my blowup with James, I realized that his daughter has been the main impetus for his monthly trips to Hawaii. And for his move in… how many weeks? Are we down to ten now?
I also may have calculated the exact mileage between thereand here, though I’m not sure why.
“James, the attractive bartender?”
“Yeah, Mom. James, the attractive bartender.”
Of course, she noticed him and knows him by name.
“Oh sweetie, are you two dating?” she chirps. “He seems like a lovely man!”
“No, Mom, we’re not dating. Wanna know why?”
“Why?”
“Because after a lifetime of watching you in action, I can’t function in relationships! I’ve watched you dangle yourself like shark bait for my entire life, allowing yourself to be devoured by anyone who would have you. So I’ve done the same! Over and over again. And now, when a ‘lovely man’ is finally interested in me, I push him away because I’m terrified of being like you!”
“Louise. Show some respect,” Dad rumbles like I’m an unruly teenager in need of redirection.
“You’re right, Dad. I apologize. That was unfair to sharks. Most of them are peaceful creatures who are unjustly maligned by a fearful media determined to paint them as villains.”
“But the real villain is me?” Mom sniffles. “I thought you kids would be happy for us. I’m trying to put our family back together.”
“Take a breath, Lou,” Ralph says.
I take his advice, slow down, and try to speak sense.
“Mom. How many family dinners did we have before tonight?” I look at Ralph and Dad as well. “Anyone have a total? Because I can count the number on one hand, and nearly all of them involved passive-aggressive parental digs at each other and dramatic details that wechildrenshould never have been privy to. For you to act like this is some sort of happy reunion is maddening. I’m sorry, but you can’t reunite something that was never united in the first place.”
I gather my purse and stand.
“Sweetie, don’t go. Let us help you.”
“With what? My homework? You were too busy for that. Want to cook me dinner? That’s something else I always did for myself—once Ralph was out of the house anyway. Don’t even get me started on the unfair weight that got placed on his shoulders!Or maybe you want to help me pass my driver’s test or pick out my prom dress or visit colleges! All things that would have been really helpful to me when I was a kid and I needed you. News flash, I don’t need you anymore. I think my own thoughts, I make my own money, and I live on my own terms.”
“And we’re so proud of you, baby.” Mom sniffles some more. “I may have made some mistakes as a mother, but we still have time! You know my friend Miriam? She and her daughter are the best of friends! They do everything together. Do you know how sad and embarrassing it is for me to see them going to the movies together, getting pedicures, and hitting happy hour at Sam’s while knowing I don’t have that with my own daughter?”
I shrug. “I’m sure Miriam and her daughter would be happy to have you tag along.”
Mom’s mouth drops open.
Who am I right now?
I take another moment to breathe.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Mom. I just—”
I take in her sad eyes, looking at me to make everything better, but...
“I can’t.”
I move toward the door, expecting Ralph to follow. He doesn’t.
