Page 60 of Lovebug
Then…
I leap on him.
And I fully plant my lips on his.
And for one glorious millisecond, he responds, kissing me back.
SPLASH!
Right as the boat topples and we fall into the water.
I go under for a split second and bob immediately back to the surface, thanks to my trusty life jacket.
I splash left and right, fully prepared to yell at this infuriating man for… for... for what?I’mthe one who kissedhim, right? But he made me do it by being so… so…
Wait.
Why is he not surfacing?
Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod.
“Wally? Wallace?!” I scream and splash.
I internally panic.
He said he was a swimmer! He said he’s in this water every day! Did he get a leg cramp? Did he hit his head?
“Wally!!!!!”
“Yes?” a completely calm and… distant voice responds.
I thrash around in the water and spot him—no joke—about a hundred feet away, holding the balloon bunny over his head.
“Got him!” he announces jovially, as if he didn’t just scare the bejeezus out of me.
“What is wrong with you?!” I scold.
“Well, that’s not a very nice question, Mabel.” He says this as he does a sort of one-arm side stroke toward me, holding the bunny high above the water. “Not a thing is wrong with me. It seems those manners of yours could use a bit of work, though.”
“My manners?Mymanners? I am overflowing with manners, mister! Manners have been drilled into me since I was an infant. If you looked up ‘manners’ in the dictionary, you’d find my picture there. Having manners is basically the crux of who I am, so don’t talk to me about manners, you-you-you manner-less sonofabitch!”
I slap both hands over my mouth in shock.
My legs continue to tread water.
“I am… so sorry,” I say in about an octave lower than my usual voice. “That was—”
“Accurate,” he finishes the thought for me as he reaches the side of the rowboat and places the bunny safely inside. “It was accurate. I gave up having manners a long time ago. And believe me, I’m happier for it.”
“Well, I shouldn’t have said that. You just… you scared me when you didn’t come to the surface and—”
“Let me ask you something, Mabel-with-all-the-manners. Was it mannerly to kiss me without my consent?”
He is so close to me now. We’re treading water, our faces six inches apart, our bodies hidden behind the boat. If anyone onshore were to look out in our direction, they wouldn’t see us.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. You were just being so…”
“Irresistible?” he offers with a smile.
