Page 48 of Lovebug
“Oh. Um. I’m a volunteer for the Save the Bees Foundation, so I offered to man their booth.”
“Mabel makes her own honey!” Calliope boasts. “Did you know that?”
“Does she now?” Wally’s eyebrows go up.
“Sort of,” I say. “I took a beekeeping workshop last Spring, and I got a nice first batch going. I’m going to offer some honeycomb nibbles at the booth to anyone who signs the Save the Bees pledge.”
“Nice. Well, I’ll be sure to visit your booth for a nibble. I’m sure your honey is delicious.”
He winks and takes hold of the hand truck.
“Oh snap,” Calliope says under her breath.
“Lovely to meet you ladies. You have a good night.” He glances one more time at me and salutes. “Mabel.”
I salute back.
“Wallace.”
Why in the world we are saluting each other is beyond me.
Then he saunters out of the bar, the door swinging shut behind him.
We all stare at the closed door in silence.
After a few moments, Cyndi starts drumming her fingers on the tabletop.
“So…. That was… um…” She searches for the words.
Calliope raises her hand as though she’s in school. “Hey, I have a question.”
“Yeah?” I ask, still in a bit of a fog.
“What the hell wasthat?”
“What was what?”
“That… interaction! That was the weirdest, most sexually-tension-filled absurdist exchange I’ve ever witnessed between two humans.”
“Was it?” I ask. And suddenly I don’t recognize the sound of my own voice. It’s sort of chokey and squeaky.
“It was,” all three of them say in unison.
Louise continues. “Mabel. The guy said he wants to ‘do all the doing’ to you!”
“No,” I quickly refute. “That is not what he said.”
“He wants to ‘taste your honey!’” Cyndi purrs.
“Again,” I stress, “No. He’s just—”
“And the way he looked at you?” Calliope whistles. “I’m surprised he didn’t get you pregnant from eye penetration alone!”
“CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT PENETRATION RIGHT NOW!?” I wail.
Silence.
My second outburst of the evening. My three friends stare at me. As does the majority of the bar.
