Page 59 of Flirtasaurus
“Fantastic. You’re dismissed.”
I’m dismissed. That was abrupt. This woman certainly takes me all over the place.
“Thank you, Dr. Knowles.”
I stand, gather my shoes, and walk to the door on stockinged feet. Right before I exit her office, she says, “Oh, and Calliope?”
“Yes?”
“Please secure three other responsible people to chaperone with you. I’d like to see you making some friends while you’re with us this spring.”
I look at her, surprised.
“No one gets through life alone, Miss FitzGerald.”
Chapter Thirteen
ME:Hey! Can I call?
SASHA:No. At booze thing w Dad. Sup?
ME:Want to chaperone a sleepover at the museum with me next Saturday night?
SASHA:Slpovr?? Yes! So IN! Omg best memories frm musm sleepover as kid! Went evry yr 2 musm n NYC. Kids wd cut a bitch 2 get spot 4 sleeping bag undr big ass whale.
ME:Your texting abbreviations drive me nuts.
SASHA:Sry.
ME:Well, we don’t have a whale in Philly. But we do have a giant walk-through heart. Oh and Bee-Tee-Dubs? I kissed that guy Ralph in there today.
SASHA:Kissing?!?? Since when r we ksng this guy? Also, ur completely msng point of phrase BTW spelling out Bee-Tee-Dubs.
ME:Whatever, I do what I want!
SASHA:Ur doing Cartman’s voice right now, aren’t u?
ME:You know I am! And I am kissing Ralph. There’s no we in this, my friend.
SASHA:Ur ksng him right now!? He’s there?!?
ME:No, I meant in general, I am kissing him, not you. No we statements necessary. This is why texting blows. You can’t get emphasis across in a text.
SASHA:Ur the yngest old persn ive evr met. Nxt time il just fax u or page u on ur beepr, k?
ME:Sounds perfect. Ooh. He’s calling. Gotta go. Bee-Are-Bee.
SASHA:Ur trribl at txt speak.
ME:Ell-Oh-Ell.
SASHA:Oh, lord.
ME:Ell-Oh-Ell means lots of love, right?
SASHA:No grndma, it means LAUGH OUT LOUD.
ME:Oh, that’s dumb! Texting is dumb.
