Page 34 of Flirtasaurus
“Thanks for looking out for me, Calliope,” he says. “That’s not something I’m used to.”
He’s not used to what? Having someone look out for him?
“Want a beer? I want a beer.” I’m a master at changing the subject.
“Sure,” he says. “I’d love a beer.”
See? A master. The subject is officially changed. I step away from him and open the fridge.
“Holy shit, that’s a lot of Yoo-hoo!”
I slam the door closed again.
“Where?”
“In your refrigerator. You have a whole shelf of Yoo-hoo in there!”
“Yeah? So what? Have I offended the vegan with my abundance of chocolate milk?”
“Hate to break it to you, but while there are many ingredients in Yoo-hoo, actual milk is not one of them.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“’Fraid not.”
“Go figure. Well, listen, if bringing this up was your not-so-clever way of asking for one of my Yoo-hoos, you don’t have to be so sneaky, Ralph. You could just ask.”
“Uh, no. Thank you. I’ll stick with the beer.”
“Alright then.”
I grab the growler I got from Hop in the Barrel yesterday and start pouring it into two glasses.
“I bathed in this brew yesterday. Well, not this exact liquid, of course! This is a fresh batch. Rest assured, no human bodies have soaked in the beverage you are about to imbibe.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.”
“Okay.”
“Cheers?”
I lift my pint glass to him. He does the same.
“Cheers.”
We clink and sip. I can’t help watching him over the rim of my glass while we do. His eyes are closed as though he’s savoring it. Geez, why does that make me want to nuzzle his neck? Yikes, his eyes are open now. Mine immediately dart to the imaginary fuzz on my sweater. I put my beer down on the counter so I can imaginary pick the fuzz off.
“Mmm. It’s good. Doesn’t taste like soaking human bodies at all.”
“Right?”
“Ya know, I didn’t even ask you what’s in these boxes.”
“Oh. Gala invitations. Yeah, just one of my many prestigious responsibilities as Dr. Knowles’ intern.”
“You need to stuff all of them? Tonight?”
