Page 126 of Flirtasaurus
“Dad…” I feel my eyes watering up with tears.
“Ken?” Mom says. “You’re embarrassing her.”
Thank you Mom for the save.
“What he means, Ralph,” she continues, “is that we think you’re a lovely young man and a marvelous match for our Lopey. You have yourself a wonderful summer, and when the time comes for you two to bond together in holy matrimony, we will be hashtag blessed to welcome you to our family. Did you like that, sweetie?” She turns to me with bright eyes. “My use of hashtag blessed?”
“It was… great, yeah. If you’ll all excuse me, I have to…” I have no actual words. At least not ones I can say out loud in present company. “Just… excuse me.”
I make a beeline to the bar where I see Sasha hovering, making sure all is running smoothly. She can tell in an instant that I’m in a state. “Jim, get my girl a margarita, stat!” she says. The music switches to a slow song as the amazingMexicandrink hits my hand, and I immediately start to cry. After I down the margarita in one long-ass sip.
“Girlfriend, girlfriend…” Sasha coos at me as she puts her hand on my lower back and turns me to face the wall so no one can see me cry. “I take it things didn’t go the way you wanted them to with Ralph?”
“Under… statement… of… the century,” I hiccup through sobs.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Drink up, drink up.” She hands me another. “And tell me everything.”
For the next few songs, we stand in the corner, watching the multitude of couples swaying together in slow motion while I drink way too much and pour my heart out to Sasha. Dr. Knowles and Lionel are dancing. The way he holds her and looks at her is so damn sweet. I can’t believe I never noticed their connection before. Otto is here and…
“Oh my gosh, he’s dancing with Nancy, the lady from the cafeteria!”
“Who is? Ralph? Do you need me to kill him for you?”
“No, not Ralph. Otto. Look!”
Otto gives me a jaunty little salute over his date’s shoulder. I’m so happy for him. Mom and Dad are dancing, of course. I even spot Mabel paired up with some guy and looking content in his arms. I wonder if that’s the boyfriend she mentioned?
I’m about to order another drink to stave off any more of the sad-sack feelings I’m experiencing watching all these happy couples undulating around me when the music suddenly cuts off, and I hear Dr. Knowles’ soothing voice come over the speakers in the room.
At what point did I start finding her voice soothing?
“Ladies and gentlemen. We hope you’re enjoying the evening. We at the Museum of Natural Sciences wanted to take just a moment to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for supporting us the way you do. Tonight is all about you, our funders, our benefactors, our patrons, and our friends. We couldn’t provide any of the programming we do without you, so thank you for being such a vital part of our community.”
A round of applause works its way through the room.
“Before we get back to the music and merriment, allow me to introduce you to a wonderful young scientist who has been an integral member of our team this spring as we brought those gorgeous creatures you see in the center of the room to rest safely here in our halls. She is going to briefly tell you a bit more about our project. Miss FitzGerald, the microphone is all yours.”
It’s time.
My heart starts to pound in anticipation of what I’m about to do.
“Did I mention I’m giving a speech?” I say to Sasha, hoping I sound more confident than I feel.
“A speech? What the hell, Lope?”
“Don’t call me Lope,” I say as I stand and smooth out my dress.
“Sorry! I just… perhaps you should have told me this informationbeforeI helped you drown your sorrows in liquor? Can you maybe see how that would have been a wise move?”
“I can see that, yes. Nevertheless… here I go.”
“Calliope? Where are you?” Dr. Knowles says into the microphone accompanied by a confused smile into the crowd.
I walk boldly toward the podium, with only the tiniest momentary wobble on my high heels.
“There she is!” Dr. Knowles’ voice feels like it’s reverberating through my skull.
I paste a wide smile on my face and whisper to myself, “I am Calliope Fitzerald. I am the shizz, and imma kill this.”
