Page 28 of A Virgin for the Icy Highlander
Grace laughed, stretching out her legs. “I have never cared about romance, Lilian.”
I have never had the luxury,she neglected to add, for it wasn’t Lilian’s fault that she had been raised the way she had, or that she looked the way she did, or that Society had chosen to treat her a certain way.
“Enough of romance! It’s making me want to cast up my breakfast,” Maddie cut in with a grin. “We are all sensible women. We should not daydream, but look to evidence and facts and probability to discover the best path toward happiness. So, I suggest we find ourselves a sunny spot and discuss Grace’s next course of action. I believe ‘anger’ is today’s emotion, if I’m not mistaken.”
Grace dusted invisible dirt from her skirts and glanced around the pristine gardens to find that sunny spot. She had no wishto discuss her dare. Rather, she just wanted to sit and enjoy the time she had left with her friends.
There was a pagoda of sorts on the far side of an emerald-green lawn, dotted with circular flowerbeds that would undoubtedly bloom into something marvelous come spring. Blossom trees stood leafless along an avenue of white stepping stones, leading from where they were to that pleasant shelter.
“Over there,” Grace said, setting off ahead of them so she might corral her chaotic thoughts into some semblance of order.
A table and four chairs decorated the veranda of the pagoda, as if they had been placed there for the sole purpose of giving the ladies somewhere sunny to sit.
Grace perched nervously on the edge of a chair, blurting out as her friends joined her, “I don’t think this dare is wise anymore. Last night was a success, and… I am content to leave it there.”
“What? But our experiment has only just begun,” Maddie protested, pulling a notebook from the small satchel she always wore, as necessary to her attire as undergarments.
Grace nodded. “I know that, but… I’m no longer certain that I need to know anything else about him; rather, what emotions he is or isn’t capable of.” She swallowed tightly. “I am beginning to think that ignorance might be bliss. Safer, at least.”
Lilian reached across the round table to take Grace’s hand. “What has caused this change of heart? Have you decided not to consider his offer?”
“No, I am still considering it,” Grace replied haltingly. “But I felt… awkward last night. I felt so unlike myself, trying to… Goodness, I can’t even explain it.”
She paused, took a deep breath, and tried again. “I did not like the feeling of trying to make him show a certain emotion, and I think I shouldn’t continue, in case it sets a precedent that will not and cannot carry on into any future life we might have together. I am concerned that I am not getting a true vision of him, but a fabricated one. After all, I won’t be playing such games when we are married—ifwe marry, I mean.”
A warmer breeze drifted through the pagoda, teasing the hair around her face in a sympathetic caress. Lilian seemed to share its sentiments. Her brow creased as her big eyes brimmed with concern for her friend.
“Come now, Grace,” Lilian murmured softly, “you might be pleasantly surprised. Perhaps, by awakening emotions he has buried deep inside, it mighthelpyour future together—if, of course, that is what you choose.”
Maddie made a guttural sound of agreement. “It is an interesting perspective, and one I don’t entirely disagree with.”
She opened her notebook and, with one of her prized Italian pencils, began to write as she continued, “I won’t profess toknow much about soldiers, but Iamaware that war forces a man to change, to set aside what we consider ‘normal’ behavior. It stands to reason that they must also set aside ‘normal’ emotions, but that doesn’t mean they are gone entirely, just misplaced.”
“Like one of my ribbons!” Lilian said, chuckling.
“Quite so.” Maddie nodded, her pencil scratching swiftly across the paper. “In truth, it might even be akindnessfor you to carry on with your dare, helping him to remember where he left certain feelings in his emotional dressing room.”
Grace grimaced. The thought of continuing with the dare made her feel as if she had put on a gown that was two sizes too small. “But it feels so much like a trick, and I don’t know what to think about that.”
“Youlovea trick,” Maddie pointed out.
“Yes, but—” Grace was about to say that those circumstances were different; they were harmless japes played on the mistresses at the school, not risky games that might ruin her chances of escaping whatever her father had planned for her. But another voice interrupted, severing her words in an instant.
“Are ye playin’ a game with Faither?”
Grace’s heart dropped as she whirled around to find Ellie peeking out from beneath the pagoda. If there was one thingriskier than what they were already doing, it was having Hunter’s daughterknowwhat they were doing.
Yes, Ellie didn’t speak to her father much, but young children were also not known for their ability to keep secrets. If the girl let something slip, Grace feared she would be doomed.
How would Hunter feel if he knew what I’m trying to do? How could I ever explain to him that I just… want to get to know him better, and that this feels like the only way?
13
“Oh, we were just talking nonsense,” Grace said too brightly, walking across the veranda to the child’s hiding place.
She crouched down and offered a hand to help the little girl out from underneath the pagoda. Her mind raced all the while, trying to come up with a way to explain what they had been discussing.
Indeed, there was one more thing she knew to be true about children: they weren’t stupid.
