Page 64 of Married to the Icy Highlander
“I, uh… Well, I came to talk to ye.”
“About?” she prompted.
She wasn’t about to accept only half-answers or assumed responses either. Her heart was far too hurt for that.
“Are ye truly goin’ to make me say it?” Neil sighed.
Ceana nodded.
It would do him some good to be a bit more uncomfortable after everything that had happened. Perhaps he needed to be humbled in the first place. She wasn’t going to wait around for him forever. If he wanted her badly enough, he would say something.
“I came here to ask ye to… come home.”
“Careful, that little vein in yer forehead looks about to pop,” Ceana answered. “Besides, Iamhome.”
Neil’s expression shifted to one of shock for a fraction of a second before he schooled it again. “Nay, this isnae yer home. Come back to our castle.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I didnae give ye permission to leave!” he practically barked.
Ceana laughed—she couldn’t help herself.
“Ach, right. And are ye givin’ me orders as yer wife or one of yer clansfolk? Because I dinnae remember askin’ for yer permission for a damn thing.”
“Ye shouldnae be here! That man was goin’—”
“I wouldnae have been here if ye hadnae pushed me away! Ye’re always pushin’ me away!”
Ceana realized that she was shouting and paused. There was no point in walking away from the village if they were going to be overheard anyway.
“I behaved… poorly, I can admit to that.” Neil raked his hand through his hair, struggling to form the words. “I’ve never had to say things like this before. I’m out of me depth here.”
“Well, it’s satisfyin’ to watch ye struggle, M’Laird. Do continue.”
Perhaps she was being a bit too mean.
She shifted her weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other and huffed. “Are ye all right?”
“What? Och, because of that giant oaf? Please.” Neil looked at her as if she was crazy to think that a weasel like Ferguson could wind him. “I’m… sorry for what I said, all right? I was upset, but that doesnae give me the right to take me anger out on ye.”
“That is right, it doesnae,” she interjected. “I willnae tolerate disrespect from ye. Laird or nae.”
“I said I’m sorry.”
“Sorry means nothing if ye dinnae trust me, M’Laird.”
She could see that calling him by his title instead of his name was getting under his skin. Good. Perhaps it would be enough to make him realize that he couldn’t have it both ways. He could have a marriage of convenience, and she could remain detached and formal, be his wife in public… and nothing else. That was what he wanted, after all.
Or, he could have a wife who called him by his name. He could have the warmth they had shared that night, but she would be his equal. She didn’t want anything less than that. It was what her heart wanted. She wanted to be with him, but the fine line they were toeing where he was affectionate one moment and stoic the next… She couldn’t do that. That was no life.
“I do trust ye, Ceana. I was wrong to say that to ye. I’ll do whatever I need to, to prove that to ye. Come back home, and I’ll tell ye everything,” Neil pleaded softly, stepping toward her with his arms outstretched as if he were going to embrace her.
She wanted him to. She did.
She missed the feel of his arms around her, the feel of his hard, warm chest beneath her cheek and the way he kissed her. A large part of her wanted nothing more than to let him kiss her until nothing else mattered, until all that she could think about was him and where their bodies were touching.
But his words had hurt more than just her pride.
