Page 30 of Married to the Icy Highlander
“I ken that ye are as worried as I am if nae more,” Ceana continued, turning the letter over to show him the unbroken seal on the back. “I want to trust ye, so I need ye to trust me too.”
She thrust the letter toward him once more, waiting for him to take it from her.
But he didn’t know if he could.
He hesitated for a long moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop or for her to say something else that might make everything make sense.
If this was a love letter, and he was forced to read it, he wasn’t sure what he might do. He eyed her warily as he took the letter and broke the seal, not sure what to expect.
Ceana closed her eyes, her arms folded tightly across her chest as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other anxiously.
“Could ye at least put a shirt on?” she huffed, turning her head away.
“Ye really think that ye can come into me chambers and order me around? I think nae. I’m perfectly comfortable like this,” Neil said, waiting for that lovely pink to bloom on her cheeks.
The instant gratification that he got every time she blushed was intense.
“This is a serious situation!” she hissed. “It would be a lot easier for me to focus properly if ye were fully dressed.”
“Are ye sayin’ that I’m distractin’ ye, wife?” Neil teased, but his apprehension about the contents of the letter was growing with every passing minute.
“I said nay such thing,” she huffed. “Are ye goin’ to read it or nae?”
He was stalling, and he felt no shame about it. He unfolded the letter, careful not to read it too quickly.
“Me dearest Ceana,” he started, and stopped.
He didn’t like the way his gut twisted at even the smallest words. What right did he have to care? Theirs was a marriage of convenience, after all.
He cleared his throat pointedly and continued. “I apologize for the trouble I’ve caused ye. I couldnae condemn ye to a life with me.” His eyes flickered to Ceana, who was swaying on her feet. He had expected to find some sort of explanation on her face, but there wasn’t. “Once I’ve settled, I will let ye ken so ye can visit.”
He folded the letter more deliberately than he needed to, his jaw clenched so tight that his teeth might crack. Ceana wasn’t reacting at all. Other than stopping her swaying, she was otherwise the same.
“But he doesnae say where he is?” she asked, her eyes still closed.
“Nay,” he sighed.
Her hands dropped to her sides, and she hung her head. For a moment, Neil was acutely aware of her slow, steady breaths.
“And he doesnae say when he will come back?” she asked, a desperate edge to her voice.
“Nay.” Neil’s jaw tensed. He wanted so badly to be wrong, to take this at face value. He set the letter down beside him and ran his hands down his thighs to steady himself. “Listen, if ye think?—”
“This is what happens when ye force yerself to marry someone ye dinnae want,” she cut him off with a shake of her head.
She fidgeted with her hands as if she needed to keep moving to keep her head clear enough to think. He could understand that impulse.
“I ruined his life,” she hiccuped. “He’s on the run because I asked him to help me. If I had found a way to manage on me own, if I had another option, then he would still be here… He…”
Neil’s eyes widened, and he was halfway across the room before he could even consider what he was doing. His arms wrapped around her before a single tear could fall. The maelstrom of emotions that suddenly kicked him right in the gut was almost too much for him.
He rubbed awkwardly between her shoulders, trying to comfort her when the act itself was so completely foreign to him. He had no idea if it was working, or if there was something better to do.
Despite her fire, Ceana was so kind, so soft… He didn’t know how to be soft.
“It’s all me fault,” she gasped as she struggled to hold back her tears.
Neil did not know how to deal with crying women, and yet he patted her back lightly, trying to offer comfort that he was not used to giving.
