Page 49 of A Wife for the Highland Wolf
He loved his family, and a member of his family had betrayed him. Betrayed his trust and plotted his death. “Why would he do such a thing?”
“Resentment. He and me father were twins, their births separated by minutes. He dinnae like that he was the younger and never had a chance to claim the lairdship. He wanted to take it from me for himself or pass the title to Gordon.”
She’d never really gotten a chance to know Arthur Nairn or his son, but she’d seen that Gordon was close to Murdoch. “Surely Gordon dinnae…”
“He dinnae ken anythin’ of his father’s plans, nor help with them.”
That was a small mercy. “And yer uncle?”
“Dead. He went mad and attacked me, and I couldnae stop him without killin' him.” Murdoch grimaced. “I dinnae inform Wilma yet, but I need to. But before that…”
He stepped closer to her, his hand rising to brush a stray lock of hair back from her face. “I dinnae want to send ye away. I thought I was keepin' ye safe, and mayhap I was, but that doesnae mean I daenae regret it, for I do. I’ve regretted that decision every moment that ye were gone from me side.”
A part of her was thrilled to hear those words, but so much time had already passed. She couldn’t deny that she’d been hurt by his actions and was still aching from the sting of his rejection. It didn’t matter how justified his actions had been or how good his reasons were.
She stepped back, putting distance between them once more. “Ye dinnae even try to explain before ye sent me away.”
“I ken. I was a fool. I’m used to keepin’ me own counsel, and I dinnae think of how ye’d feel, nae kennin' why I acted as I did.”
“Ye think a simple apology is enough to make me forgive ye? To make me forget the hurt ye caused? Ye think I’ll trust ye nae tomake the same mistake again, when it seems to be a habit with ye?”
“I dinnae say that.”
“Then what is yer purpose here?”
“To apologize, and to ask ye to return with me to Lochlann Castle. There’s somethin’ there I want to show ye, and a question I want to ask. After that, if ye wish to return to yer sister, I’ll nae hold ye back. If ye wish to have nothin’ else to do with me, I’ll tell the Council that the betrothal willnae work and I will find another way, even if I need to step down as laird.”
“So ye hope to show me a trinket to win me back, and if I daenae agree, ye’ll nae even fight for me?” Perhaps it was rude, perhaps it was even petty to say such things, but she was in no mood to be gentle with his feelings. Not after he’d pushed her aside so often.
There was a wry quirk to his mouth when he answered. “I dinnae say that. I’ll nae hold ye back if ye wish to cancel the arrangement between our clans, but that’s nae the same as sayin' I’ll cease tryin’ to win ye on me own.”
He stepped closer to her once more, his eyes dark with passion and promise. “I’ll own I dinnae want this contract when first I came to yer door, but ye’re a rare woman, Lydia Knox. Ye’ve made me feel things I’ve never felt before, and I’m nae so eager to lose that. I’ve made a fair fool of meself in this contest of hearts and wills, but I told ye that I’ve never lost a war, andI’m nae of a mind to start losin’ here, even if I’ve well and truly mismanaged a battle here and there.”
“What if I choose to withdraw from the field? Will ye deny me that right?” She glared at him.
“Nay. But it daenae mean I willnae seek a way past the gates by other means.” He looked so utterly serious that she wanted to believe he meant it.
Believing in Murdoch would be difficult after what had passed between them. She didn’t want to risk being hurt again, especially not by his silences or his unwillingness to let her come close. “I daenae ken if I can believe ye again.”
“I ken. That’s why all I ask for now is that ye return to Lochlann Castle with me, to see what I want ye to see.”
“And ye’ll nae try to use Finn to manipulate me?”
“The bairn will be happy to see ye, for he’s sore missed his three playmates this past seven-day, but I’ll nae try to use him to win yer heart back. There’s nay point, when I want yer heart for meself, nae Finn.”
Lydia felt a flush rising to her cheeks at his candid speech.
She still felt the urge to refuse him and send him away. However, his words intrigued her, and curiosity had always been her weakness.
Besides, in every story she’d ever read, there was always some trial to test the lovers before they achieved a happy ending. She’d yearned for a romance like the ones in her stories. What point would there be in such dreams if she could not see them through? She owed it to her own heart to see if there was happiness past the pain his actions had caused.
“Very well, Laird Lochlann. I will come with ye.” She paused. “I need to speak to Nora before we go, and ye should speak to Wilma.”
Murdoch nodded. “Aye.”
26
The ride back to Lochlann Castle was a quiet one. Lydia was engrossed in thoughts of her own and Murdoch found he was quite content with that. He had enough to occupy his own mind as they traveled.
