Page 75 of The Icy Highlander's Bride
His hand found hers, and he guided her to the sitting area. He perched on the edge of a chair, their knees almost touching.
"I lost someone," he started, and then he cleared his throat. " I wasnae ready for it. And Skye lost her maither because of it."
Daniel looked at the floor, and she worried he would clam up again. Lana put a hand on his knee, a gentle encouragement. He took a deep breath and started again.
"I blame meself," he croaked. "I should have recognized the tension between the clans. I married Evelyn to end a feud, but I only managed to create a new one. They hated that I had joined with MacDougal. And they wanted to hurt me in whatever way they could. Killing me child and removing all hope for future bairns was the best way to weaken me."
Daniel shook his head, and she saw the pain that those memories dredged up. It was still raw for him, still present.
"I should have seen it coming." He swallowed. "I was too late. It wasnae always easy with Evelyn, but she dinnae deserve that. She shouldnae have died."
"Ye saved Skye," Lana said gently. "She is here because of ye."
"But without a maither," Daniel sighed. "What sort of life is that?"
Lana heard the pain in his voice, and she fought to ease it.
"Ye forget she has two parents," she pointed out, taking his hand in her own. "She has ye."
"Aye," Daniel uttered, before letting out a raw chuckle. "A man who cannae speak of how he feels. A man too scared to love anyone."
Lana waited, wondering where this conversation would lead. She was raw with emotions, stretched thin with everything thathad happened today. This morning she was nearly kidnapped by a laird who was now dead.
"Can ye forgive me?" Daniel asked. He looked up at her, and she saw the pain in his eyes. "I shouldnae have pushed ye away."
"I daenae ken how we move forward," Lana murmured. Even saying the words made her feel like crying. "I have grown accustomed to this place and the people here. But I cannae live without those who care about me."
"I do care for ye," Daniel said, though his voice was strained and stilted.
She let out a disbelieving laugh. "I ken yewantto, but that isnae the same thing."
Lana stood up and crossed to her bag. She had hoped this conversation with Daniel would make her feel better, but she still felt lost, entirely uncertain of what the future might hold. She heard Daniel stand up and walk over to her, though he kept some distance between them.
"Please daenae go," he pleaded. "Skye willnae forgive me if ye leave."
"She will be alright," Lana assured him. "Especially if her faither can keep his heart open to her. She will weather this storm."
"And what of her faither?" Daniel asked. He stepped closer to her, and the heat of his body was suddenly at her back. "I daenae ken if he will survive if ye are gone."
Lana turned to him with a helpless expression, feeling stuck between her needs and the feelings of this household. She knew how much she wanted to stay, but she wasn't willing to sacrifice her values. If her time with Daniel and Skye had taught her anything, it was that she was a woman worthy of love.
"It willnae work," Lana sighed. She shook her head, but Daniel caught her chin with his hand.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for what I have put ye through. I ken I am the most difficult man on earth."
She smiled, delighting in his self-deprecation, but then she quickly pressed her lips together, turning serious again.
"I still want love," Lana insisted, and truer words had never been spoken. She found peace as she said them, a true understanding of herself that she was determined to no longer hide from. "So it willnae work."
Daniel's hand was still on her chin, and he tilted her face up to his. Lana wanted to pull away. It was too painful to look at him, when all she wanted was to melt into him. She longed for him to wrap his arms around her and pull her close so that she wouldn't have to leave.
"I love ye," he stated simply.
It was said in such a matter-of-fact way that Lana wondered if she had heard him correctly. His lips quirked up in amusement as she looked back at him in shock.
"Ye heard me," he said. "I love ye. I have loved ye since ye first came to me at that ceilidh at yer 'brother's castle."
"Ye do?" Lana asked. Tears welled up in her eyes again, though this time they were tears of joy.
