Page 41 of The Cruel Highlander's Bride
They were in the library, and Ciara was teaching him how to write. She’d been talking and working with her head down, but the quill she’d been holding fell from her hand at his question. Her eyes flicked up to the man-at-arms to see him watching her earnestly.
The answer was muddled. She thought she had more time, more time to understand the man soon to be her husband, more time for him to get to know her. But the last few days had passed in a whirl of preparations. She had barely seen the man she’d be standing across from and pledging herself to tomorrow.
How had the week passed so quickly?
His appearances at dinner had lasted barely long enough for her to eat her first course. It certainly wasn’t long enough for her to work up the nerve to talk to him. The distance continued to stretch between them with all that was left unsaid.
Their kiss and their audience with the women from the village lay between them. Was he angry with her? Embarrassed? She had no idea what the Laird was thinking or feeling, and that confusion left her feeling hollow.
When he sprung the move on her, he claimed it was so they could get to know each other, and yet… he continued to keep his distance. She still had doubts, doubts about what her life here would look like if she had no relationship with the Laird. But one thing was for certain.
“I’ll do me duty to me family,” she finally said.
Ciara wouldn’t back out of this wedding, not if there was a possibility it would reignite the feud between their clans. Besides, she had made a promise, and she would uphold it.
Ewan didn’t need to hear about her doubts or uncertainties or how maddening and confusing she found the Laird. He was still Magnus’s man-at-arms. Even if he’d become something resembling a friend these last few days, his loyalty still lay with his Laird, and he was not her confidante.
That didn’t mean she didn’t long for one. This arrangement was so much more confusing than she’d expected. Ciara had specifically requested that he let her do as she pleased, she knew that. But she hadn’t expectedthislevel of alone time.
Aside from their few brief interactions, she had barely seen the Laird since their kiss. Did she even have any right to feel distressed over his absence when she had asked for this? Whenshehad wanted space?
It went against everything Ciara thought she wanted, but she just wished that Magnus would touch her again the way he had by the lake. She wanted to feel his hands in her hair, holding her tightly to him, so he could devour her mouth.
Just barely resisting the urge to groan, Ciara looked up to find Ewan still observing her. She gave him a small smile and directed their attention back to the book before them. There was nothing else to be said on the matter of her wedding. It would go ahead as planned tomorrow, regardless of how she felt.
Ewan reluctantly returned to practice what they’d gone over today when Lana burst into the library. “Our family is here!” she exclaimed with a bright smile.
Ciara matched her sister’s excitement and jumped up from the table.
“Apologies, Ewan, we can pick this up later,” she said, linking arms with her sister to go and welcome their family.
It was the first bit of true happiness she’d felt in days. They both picked up their pace, smiling widely.
When they walked into the main hall, they were greeted with quite the scene.
Magnus was already present, and standing directly across from him were Laird Gunn and Alexander. The men seemed to be in a standoff of sorts, with Elspeth and Olivia behind Magnus and Lady Gunn slightly behind Laird Gunn.
The three men eyed each other warily, none of them willing to break their staring contest, even as Ciara and Lana walked into the room.
“Oy, this is absurd!” Lady Gunn exclaimed, rolling her eyes. Quickly, not letting her husband’s outstretched arms stop her, she moved out from behind him and rushed to the girls for an embrace.
She pulled both her daughters in, one on each side, and squeezed them tight.
Ciara relaxed into her mother’s embrace and let out a happy sigh. She forgot how good it felt to be hugged like this. She could apparently add touch-starved to her list of emotions.
“I’ve missed ye both so much,” Lady Gunn breathed.
Ciara swallowed back the tears that threatened to escape. “I missed ye too,” she whispered back.
When Lady Gunn finally stepped back from the two of them, the men had stopped their little standoff to watch the women.
Magnus smiled shyly at Ciara, and she returned it, trying not to let the hurt seep through.
“Aye, how have things been?” Lady Gunn asked, returning to stand next to her husband.
The distance between Magnus and Ciara was never so physically obvious as it was at that moment. Ciara watched her parents gravitate back towards each other while she stood as far from her betrothed as possible within their tight circle.
She had never thought about what she might want out of a marriage, but it wasn’t this distance and loneliness. As much as she longed for it, she could accept not having a physical relationship with Magnus. But she yearned for companionship, friendship… all the things she left behind.
