Page 36 of The Highlander's Inconvenient Wife
Joan recalled his words from earlier and realized that he must have lost his eye and his father on the day he became laird.
“I had already gone to bed when I heard me maither screaming in her chambers.” He shifted a little on the grass as he clenched his fists. “It wasnae unusual for him to lift his hands to her after a battle, but this time was different. I heard him yell that he’d kill both of us before the sun came up. Panicking, I ran to their chambers an’ threw open the door.”
Joan shifted a little closer on the grass as the cool evening air crept in, making her shiver from the harshness of the wind as well as Jaspers’ story. She couldn’t imagine how terrifying it must have been to hear your own father threatening to kill you and your mother.
“I saw me maither laying on the floor at his feet with a bloody gash across her cheek.” He suddenly became visibly angry as he clenched his jaw. “Something finally snapped in me as she lay there cowering. I wasn’t going to allow him to treat us that way anymore. I reached for the dirk in me boot an’ lunged at him in the white-hot range that I felt coursing through me veins. He was stronger than me an’ managed to throw off the attack.” His eyes clouded over from emotion as a muscle jumped in his jaw.
Joan felt the tears welling in her eyes as she swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to choke her breaths. There was a kinder side to Jasper that had been through far more than she could ever have imagined.
“He threw me clean across the room an’ into a wall. There wasn’t enough time to react ’afore he was on me with his dagger. I managed to plunge me dirk between his ribs, but it was too late. Me hand slipped, allowing his dagger to plunge deep into me eye.” He reached up and ran his thumb over the leather patch. “I can still feel the pain searing through me skull at times.”
“I’ve heard some of the men coming back from battle saying that they can still feel a limb twitching long after it has been removed.” Joan sought for common ground to let him know that she felt for him and everything he had gone through. “The one soldier even said he felt his leg itching at night while he tried to sleep. I know I’ve never been through anything like that, but I can just imagine how difficult it has been for you all of these years.”
“Aye,” he let out a breath as he relaxed a little. “I’ve gotten used to it by now, but sometimes, I swear I can still see a glimmer of light when I look at a sunset even though I ken very well that the eye is nae there.”
“I think it’s part of human nature to hope even if we don’t realize that we are hoping at the time.” She took a deep breath as she thought of everything he’d said.
Swallowing hard, Jasper looked at his hands as if he could still see his father’s blood on his skin. “I dinnae mean to kill him; I just wanted to protect me maither. I had hoped that we could still save him an’ that he would change, but it was too late by the time the healer got to him. He’d lost too much blood, an’ there was nothing that anyone could do.”
“I don’t think you should blame yourself.” Joan slipped her arm through his and placed her head on his shoulder. “You were trying to protect your mother; anyone in your position would have done the same thing.”
“Can I ask ye something now?” he asked in a gentle voice.
“Yes.” She lifted he head and looked him in the eye, searching his soul.
“Why is it that ye are the only person that has never been repulsed or afraid of me?” He seemed vulnerable as he searched her face in the fading light. “Men are usually either intimidated or scared of me, an’ women seem repulsed. Why is it that ye never once shied away or avoided looking me in the eye?” His eye was bright with emotion and expectation as he waited for her response.
The small amount of fear that swam in his eye tugged at her heart as she felt herself feeling as if she wanted to protect him from any woman that shied away from him. “Well, we need to look at the facts here.” She shivered slightly as her hands became cold. “These other women that have been repulsed by you in the past. Did you throw them in a dungeon before trying to court them?”
Jasper leaned back and laughed from the pit of his stomach so freely and openly that Joan couldn’t help but admire him.
“I mean, I have to admit, although I have never been repulsed by you, throwing a lady in a dungeon isn’t exactly an attractive quality in a man.”
Shaking his head, Jasper smiled at her. “Yer something else, lass; has anyone ever told ye that yer mouth might get ye into trouble someday?”
“Many times,” she said seriously as she recalled all of the times that her mother had warned her of that very thing. “But on a serious note, I’m not sure why I’ve never been scared of you. I felt uneasy at first.” She smiled at him. “You did throw me in a dungeon and threaten me.”
He returned her smile with a glint in his eyes.
“There was just something about you that fascinated me; the patch over your eye intrigued me more than anything else. I wanted to know what happened. Call it an unhealthy curiosity with things that don’t concern me.”
“I’m glad ye have those qualities,” he said tenderly as he reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Daenae let anyone change ye for anything.”
Joan felt herself swooning as she looked into his eye; the intensity of the green with blue flecks took her to a place where she wanted to spend the rest of her life. “May I?” she hesitated as she raised her hand.
Searching her face for a moment, Jasper nodded and lifted the patch from his eye to reveal a smooth scar that covered the socket.
She felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw his face properly for the very first time. The patch made him harder somehow; his face was open and handsome without the obscuring effect of the leather that made him seem unapproachable.
“I ken it isnae much to look at.” He glanced to the side and began lifting the patch back to his face.
“No,” she said firmly and placed her hand over his, lowering it back down. “Don’t hide from me; it’s everything to look at you.” She placed her hands on either side of his face and gently kissed the scar before drawing back with her forehead against his. “The world can be a cruel place, so hide your scar from them if you must, but don’t hide from me.”
“Ye daenae have to leave if ye daenae wish to,” he whispered back with his eye shut. “I cannae promise ye marriage, but ye will be safe behind the castle walls.”
Her heart clenched at his words.
Why can’t he marry me even after the intimacy we shared?
