Page 61 of When the Viscount Seduces
As she walked into the library, her breath caught. Had he somehow become more handsome since the day before? His blond hair was elegantly styled and his clothing superb. He looked as if he’d walked straight off a fashion plate.
But he wasn’t smiling. Indeed, his face looked a bit drawn. Was something wrong?
“You received my note,” Gwen said tentatively, feeing incredibly nervous.
“Yes. That is why I am here, though this is not something we should be doing. However, you said it was urgent.”
“Did you receive the writing exercise I sent you the other day?” she asked hopefully.
He exhaled. “Yes. I apologize for not responding. It was most helpful. You are a wonder.” He smiled faintly, and Gwen relaxed a little.
She pulled the new exercise she’d made from her pocket. “I’ve another one for you.” She moved closer to him and held the folded parchment out.
He reached for it, clasping the proffered edge, while she held the other side. Their gazes met.
“Thank you,” he murmured, taking the paper and tucking it into a pocket in his coat. “Is this why you wanted to see me? You could have sent it like you did the first one. I promise I’ll respond in future.”
“I appreciate that,” she said. “But that isn’t why I wanted to see you. I, um, I missed you.”
His jaw seemed to tighten.
When he didn’t respond, she gathered her courage and went on. “I saw you in the park yesterday. I thought you saw me, but then you turned and walked away.”
“I did see you.” He sounded almost…weary? “You looked as if you were going to come and speak to me, but I told you we can’t be publicly associated any longer. How would that look if you approached me at the park?” He didn’t sound angry, but there was some underlying emotion weighting his words.
“I realize that, which is why I wanted to see you. I don’t want to not be able to speak with you or spend time with you. We’d become close, hadn’t we?” She waited for him to say something or for his expression to change. When he remained stoic, Gwenbegan to worry that this would go very badly. Perhaps the worst that could happen was about to.
“I miss that closeness,” Gwen said, knowing this was her only chance to tell him how she felt. “My mother has asked me which gentleman I am hoping will offer for me, and I realized that the only one I want is you.”
Lazarus’s nostrils flared. “You can’t want that.” His voice was low, nearly a growl.
“Why not?”
“Because you know what kind of man I am.”
“Yes. The man I am in lo?—”
He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. “Don’tsay it. You can’t feel that way about me. I won’t permit it.”
She looked up in the firestorm of his eyes and ached at whatever he was battling. Was it that he didn’t think he was good enough for her?
“What about what I will permit?” She pressed against him and put her arms around his neck.
He muttered something that sounded as though it may have been a curse just before his mouth claimed hers in a blistering kiss. Gwen’s soul sang as his tongue swept along hers. She clutched him tightly, never wanting to let go. If this moment could last into eternity, she would be happy.
His hand moved lower, to her backside, bringing her pelvis in direct contact with his—nearly, for he was taller than her by several inches. This was nothing like the awful ways in which Tremblay had groped her. Lazarus caressed her and held her with a mix of care and unfettered desire. She felt both wanton and safe, as if this was exactly where she wanted and needed to be—in Lazarus’s arms.
He kissed along her jaw then he abruptly stepped away, his breath coming fast. “I’m sorry for overstepping.”
“I clearly didn’t mind. I invited you to kiss me. Indeed, I invite you to do whatever you wish with me.”Please, do that,she internally begged.
He wiped his palm over his mouth. “I can’t be with you like this. Or in any other way.”
He’d said “can’t,” not that he didn’t want to. “Why not?”
“Because you deserve far better, for one. Beyond that, there are…reasons I can’t explain.” He took a deep breath. “Perhaps in time, things will be different.”
“Are you asking me to wait? I will.” She would wait as long as he asked. That had to break a rogue rule—or several—but she didn’t care. She was gleefully throwing them all aside for a chance with this magnificent rogue. And thatdefinitelybroke a rogue rule: never give a rogue a chance.
