Page 42 of When the Viscount Seduces
“I already committed to that when we agreed to our arrangement. I will not abandon you now after what amounts to a…temporary lapse in judgment.” She nodded. “Yes, we must accept that was all it was.”
Except Lazarus was fairly certain there was nothing temporary about this situation. He’d already been desiring Gwen, and now that he’d kissed her, he wanted more. He wanted to feel the silken glide of her flesh against him while he explored every inch of her. He yearned to hear her moan and cry out as he drove her to the brink of ecstasy and beyond.
Now his cock was more than stirring. It was growing thick and hard. He was an absolute blackguard.
And he wanted her. He just needed to remind himself that he couldn’t have her.
He could do this. He could rise above his baser instincts. Or alleviate them elsewhere.
Yes, he could go straight to the Rogue’s Den after dropping Gwen at her house and find satisfaction in the arms of one, perhaps two, of the ladies there. What would usually entice him, however, now repulsed him. The thought of finding solace with anyone other than Gwen was extremely distasteful. At least right now. He hoped that would be temporary. If it wasn’t, what was he to do?
“You’re being awfully quiet,” Gwen said, cocking her head. “I hope you aren’t mentally castigating yourself.”
“Among other things,” he admitted.
“I don’t regret it,” she said softly, her lips curved into the gentlest of smiles. “I do appreciate you kissing me. It was divine.”
Lazarus nearly groaned with want. “Yes, it was.” His voice sounded very tight. Because he was coiled like a spring ready to explode. He needed relief, and he would find some with his right hand as soon as he got home.
“You’ll want to turn your head again as I need to tuck the veil up my skirt once more.”
Hell and the devil.Lazarus had forgotten that would be necessary. He snapped his head around so that he was practically looking at the squab behind him. If he saw so much as her ankle, he risked leaping on her and offering to “help” with the placement of her veil. Where would she put it? Between her thighs?
“I’m finished.”
Lazarus exhaled and wiped his gloved hand over his dewy brow. This ride to her house was interminable.
“You’re going to be sure to work on your writing and memorizing before you go to bed tonight?” she asked, yanking him from his thoughts.
“Yes.” Just as soon as he found some satisfaction and could drive her from his mind. God, he hoped he could. He didn’t remember the last time he’d been so fixated on a single person. Not an act or a desire, but a woman. He didn’t think that had ever happened.
The coach arrived at her house, and a little of his tension eased.
“Thank you again,” she said. She sat forward on the seat and lightly touched his knee. It was nearly his undoing.
Lazarus clenched his hands into fists lest he reach for her and pull her onto his lap. He would straddle her legs around him, pushing her skirts away, and arch up against her wet heat. Then he’d kiss her again, devouring all she would give him.
“Good night,” he managed through the haze of lust that had swept over him.
Thankfully, she withdrew her hand—and not a moment too soon. “Good night.”
Then she climbed down from the coach with help from the groom. Lazarus watched as she entered the house, and the coach started on its way.
Tonight had been an unmitigated disaster. Lazarus had already determined they should end their public association, but now he had to strongly consider ending their private one too. She might be able to put their kiss behind them, but Lazarus wasn’t sure he could. He would try one more session with her in two days’ time. However, if he couldn’t focus on his reading and memorizing, there would be no point in continuing.
He hoped he could expel her from his mind and somehow exorcise his desire for her. If not, he was doomed.
Amix of anxiety and anticipation ran through Gwen as she awaited her friends. She was torn between telling them about what had happened with Lazarus last night, which also meant revealing that she’d gone to a literary salon in disguise, alone with a rogue and keeping the secret to herself. Well, and to Miss Harker.
But how was she to explain how she’d met Miss Harker in the first place? Gwen couldn’t say she’d happened upon her at the Siren’s Call. She now wished she’d asked her new friend to arrive early so they could arrange a story.
Except the thought of lying to her dearest friends made her almost queasy, hence her anxiety.
Lake appeared then and announced the arrival of Miss Josephine Harker. She was early! Gwen exhaled with relief.
Miss Harker entered the drawing room. She wore a smart walking dress of dark brown that complemented the chestnut color of her hair. She had striking hazel eyes that were similar to Gwen’s mother’s. Indeed, Miss Harker was an attractive woman, though Gwen imagined some would judge her mouth too wide or her nose a trifle sharp. Gwen found her features arresting and singular.
“I’m so glad you came,” Gwen said. “Come and sit.” She moved to the settee in the largest seating area and patted the cushion for Miss Harker to join her.
