Page 98 of Impeccable
“None of this is your fault. Lady Hargrove was going to cause problems sooner or later. She blamed me for her recommendations not finding support at the club and for her choice of patroness also not being supported.” She glanced over at Ash as she stroked his ear. “Regardless, I regret nothing.”
“Is that true?” He sounded surprised.
She met his disbelieving gaze and saw the hope that was always present in him. “Shockingly, yes. I was happy in my life, but I was missing something and didn’t even realize it.” Gregory had filled a void she hadn’t known was there, not until he filled it. Perfectly.
“What was missing?”
It was difficult to explain because she couldn’t quite identify it herself. “You’re the first man who saw me for me. Men have always looked twice—or more—at me. Because I’m beautiful. I used that to my advantage when I had to. Now, I somewhat resent it. Sometimes I think about wearing nothing but drab brown and covering my hair in a sad mobcap. Perhaps I’ll add a veil.”
He stared at her a moment before breaking into laughter. “I’m sorry, I am trying to imagine this, and I have to say that you’d still be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Evie rolled her eyes. “You aren’t helping.”
Sobering, he took a breath. “My apologies. Truly. I didn’t mean to make light of your feelings.”
“Itisabsurd, which is why I haven’t done it. It pains me to admit that I am also a trifle vain. I’m afraid I love clothing. That was actually one of the reasons I took the job in the brothel. That, and I wanted a comfortable place to live and regular food to eat.” Evie thought back on her decision to follow Heloise into trade. “It was a very nice brothel. Heloise and I were pretty enough—and we spoke French—so we were lucky.”
“What happened to your parents?” Gregory asked softly. “You said your father was a chevalier.”
“So Nadine told us. My mother died when I was four. I don’t really remember her, and I don’t remember my father at all. We left France when I was a babe to flee the Terror. My father stayed behind to help others. He was supposed to join us in a few months, but he never came. A couple of years later, my mother saw his name on a list of people who had died in France. It broke my mother’s heart. Heloise remembers that. And that our mother used to sing lullabies to us in French.”
Gregory caressed her arm. “I’m sorry you don’t remember her. Nadine was your mother’s maid?”
“Yes. She was the only person who accompanied us across the channel. She’d taken care of our mother since before she married our father. After my mother died, she raised Heloise and me as if we were her own daughters. And she worked herself to death sewing for a demanding modiste who passed Nadine’s designs off as her own.” Evie scowled. “It wasn’t fair, especially because of how hard Nadine worked.” She paused as long-buried love flooded her chest. She hadn’t allowed that emotion to resurface in some time.
“I loved her very much. She became ill when I was fifteen. We couldn’t afford the medicine she needed.” Evie’s hand stilled against Ash, anguish overtaking her. “That was when Heloise went to work at the brothel, but it was too late, and Nadine died. She said it broke her heart that Heloise had become a prostitute.” She turned her gaze back to Gregory. “But what were we to do?”
“You did what you thought you had to.”
Evie was caught up in the past in a way she hadn’t been in a long time. “Heloise sent money to me, but it wasn’t enough. I tried to sew, but I am terrible at stitching. I knitted instead, but socks don’t earn much. Plus, I was lonely on my own, and men in the neighborhood knew I was alone. I didn’t know how long I could keep them at bay, and I determined that if I were going to share my body, it was going to be my choice and for a decent sum. I lasted about eighteen months, then I went to work at the same brothel as Heloise. By then, she’d become the most popular lady in the house and was negotiating her first protector.”
Gregory had been stroking her arm while she spoke, but when she’d talked about her choice to work at the brothel, he’d stopped. “I can’t imagine what you had to do at such a young age without any parent or guiding force.” He shook his head, and she thought she saw the shimmer of a tear in his eye.
“Gregory, please don’t pity me.”
“I don’t. I’m sad for your losses, and I’m angry that you didn’t have better choices. It’s not right, Evie. I can’t believe how you’ve managed. Look at you now.”
“Naked in the bed of a man who is not my husband,” she said wryly.
“We could change that.”
“I am a little cold, actually, though Ash is quite warm.” She smiled at the dog.
“Not that part, though I’ll fetch your chemise.” He got up from the bed and came back with the garment.
She sat up and drew it over her head.
“I meant I could be your husband, if you’d allow me to. I love you, Evie, now and forever. If you become my wife, I’ll spend the rest of our lives showing you how much and making you happy.”
He stood next to the bed, his brown eyes warm and earnest—and so full of love. She knew he would take care of her in ways she’d never imagined. She’d never want for anything. And she wouldn’t ever be alone again.
She could hide in the shadows, but she didn’t have to do that anymore. Nor did she want to. Thankfully, there were no more secrets to keep. She could be MirabelleandEvie. “I love you too.”
His eyes widened and his lips parted. She nearly giggled. “Is it that shocking?” she asked.
“I just… I didn’t think you would let yourself love me. Actually, that’s what Lucien said, and it seems he knows you rather well.”
She arched a brow at him. “You spoke to Lucien?”
