Page 48 of Irresistible
Chapter12
After reading all ofLyrical Balladslast night, Jess had crawled into bed long after Dougal had fallen asleep. She’d watched him for a few minutes, his lashes dark and lush against his almond skin. Just looking at him had given her an ache, as if something was unfinished. Perhaps it was because he’d barely kissed her neck before they’d been interrupted. From the moment his lips had touched her flesh, a passion had ignited within her—and it still flamed this morning.
Why hadn’t he kissed her on the mouth instead? She’d asked him and found his answer lacking. It was possible that contributed to her feeling unsettled. He’d said he would kiss her mouth next time. She only hoped there would be a next time.
Except it wouldn’t be real. No matter how badly you want it to be.
He’d been gone when she awakened, which had been later than usual for her given when she’d finally gone to sleep. There had been a note, however, written in his strong, efficient hand, saying he went for a ride.
Glowering at the completely unhelpful book atop the desk, Jess had pulled herself from the bed, eaten breakfast, completed her toilet, and was now prowling the rooms at the back of the house, her mind churning with how to decipher the bloody letter. She needed to find Mary to ask which of the poems was her favorite. Without that, she would have to start imagining a key for the cipher, which was sometimes required. She’d have better luck finding treasure washed up on the beach.
From the sitting room, she looked out toward the sea. Dougal! He was coming up the path from the beach. The stables were quite removed from there. Had he gone riding and then gone to the beach? Or had he lied to her about riding and done something else entirely? She wished the Foreign Office had never asked her to investigate him. She didn’t know how, nor did she want to.
Blowing out a disgruntled breath, she squeezed her hands into fists, then shook them out again. This suspicion coupled with desire was creating a cacophony of frustration in her brain. She didn’t want either of those things. She wanted to be successful at this assignment. So far, she had absolutely nothing to show for her efforts, either with deciphering or her investigation of Dougal.
He was nearing the house. She moved away from the window quickly, not wanting him to see her.
“Jessamine!” Mary swept into the sitting room with a bright smile. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“Not at all.” Jess was definitely grumpy, because her first reaction was to remind the woman that it was her house and she could do whatever she liked, particularly walk into a room. Instead, she kept her mouth clamped shut.
“I’m so pleased to have found you,” Mary said. “Will you sit with me for a minute?” She went to a pale yellow and peach floral-patterned settee and sat, patting the cushion beside her.
Jess needed to tame her mind and focus on the objective at hand. She’d been looking for Mary, after all. “I’d be delighted.” Summoning a smile, she sat next to Mary.
With her blonde hair artfully styled and a light gloss of cosmetic adorning her pretty face, Mary could very well hold her own in London. Jess idly wondered how she would be received there, particularly if she and Gil couldn’t keep their hands off each other in public.
“I wanted to apologize about last night.” Mary gave her a wan smile that barely signified as one. “I do hope we didn’t make you and Dougal uncomfortable. We try to be very welcoming, and I realize we can be a tad enthusiastic. I’m also aware that our enthusiasm can be objectionable to some.”
Jess felt trite for laughing about their…enthusiasm. It was awkward at times, but there was no harm in it. “You aren’t to us. Truly.” She patted Mary’s hand to assert the sentiment.
Mary’s features brightened. “That’s lovely to hear. I must also apologize for interrupting the two of you. The doors were closed for a reason, and we should have respected that. I’m afraid Gil and I weren’t thinking beyond ourselves.” She waved her hand with a laugh. “I can only imagine what we intruded upon—it looked quite diverting.” She waggled her brows at Jess.
It seemed as though Mary expected a response, so Jess said, “Ah, we finished what we started upstairs.” She was suddenly quite jealous of Mary and Gil and their…enthusiasm. It was difficult to see them together and not envy their intimacy.
“I’ll wager that was a delightful trip upstairs,” Mary said with a knowing look. “There’s nothing better than the anticipation between lovers just before you know you’ll find release. The excitement is in the surprise of the act. What will it be to tease out each other’s climax? A fast coupling or a lingering seduction? Gil was in the mood for fondling and mouth play. What was it for the two of you?”
Mary spoke candidly, as if this were a normal conversation between married women. Jess couldn’t say as this hadnotcome up in her tutelage with Evie. Perhaps it might have if their conversation about bedchamber behavior hadn’t been interrupted.
Jess’s brain fixed on the words fondling and mouth play. The only “mouth play” she’d experienced beyond kissing was what Dougal had done to her neck last night. However, she knew what else could happen, that men put their mouths on women’s breasts—she’d dreamed of Dougal doing that—and on their sex. This time, there was no stopping the heat that rushed to her face.
“Oh dear, I’ve embarrassed you.” Mary wrinkled her face up and closed one eye. Then she blew out a breath and relaxed her features. “Again, my apologies. I’m accustomed to sharing those sorts of intimacies with my married friends, but perhaps you are not.”
“Ah, no.” Jess wished she could lie, because she desperately wanted to hear more. “I’m afraid my married friends are more conservative than you and Gil. Is your marriage what you imagined? What I mean is, you must have had examples of close, loving relationships.”
Mary glanced toward the doorway, then lowered her voice. “I’ll tell you a secret: I’d vowed never to wed because my mother was so dreadfully unhappy in marriage.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Gil,” she said simply. “I know it sounds terribly fanciful, but he charmed me completely and—despite my resistance—I fell unexpectedly and wholly in love with him.”
“He completely changed your mind about marriage?”
“Yes. I think if you find the right person, anything is possible. For instance, I used to be afraid of guns, and now I possess an exceptional skill. I never would have guessed! Life is such an adventure, Jessamine, especially with a partner who can make even the most mundane exciting. That seems to be how it is between you and Dougal.”
“Does it?” Jess asked softly as she pondered Mary’s words. Ordinary things such as dressing and bathing had taken on new meaning with Dougal. Good heavens, she shouldn’t be talking to Mary about such things when she needed to focus on the mission. “It’s nice that you see us in that light,” she said before turning the conversation where she should have long before now. She pretended to stifle a yawn. “I confess I stayed up rather late readingLyrical Ballads. They are all so lovely. Which is your favorite Wordsworth?”
“Well, my favorite is the one you quoted after you first arrived, but that’s not fromLyrical Ballads. Let me see… What is my favorite from that collection?”
