Page 99 of Impossible
Panic clawed at Ada’s insides. She blurted, “He asked me to marry him. I haven’t yet given him an answer.” She sent Jonathan an irritated glance.
“How do you know each other?” Max asked in a rather stilted voice.
“Ada used to work for me,” Jonathan said. “Though, that is just how things began.” He smiled at Ada as if they shared a wonderful secret.
Max’s gaze darkened. “This is the man you told me about?”
She swallowed. “Yes.”
His eyes suddenly blazed hot. He looked to Jonathan. “You’re just now getting around to marrying her? Not when she was carrying your child?”
Ada gasped, then slapped her palm over her mouth. Had he really just said that out loud?
Jonathan blanched. He stared at Ada. “What child?”
“Er, perhaps we should—” Whatever Reggie meant to say was cut off by Jonathan.
He stepped toward Ada, his expression full of love. “You didn’t tell me because of Letitia, because we couldn’t be together. Oh, my darling, I’m so sorry. But we can raise our child together now.”
Max turned toward Ada, his arm going slack, so she had to remove her hand. “Who is Letitia?”
Jonathan answered. “My wife. She passed away last year.”
Max stared at her, his voice and expression frigid, as if he were carved from granite.
Numbness overtook her. “I was their governess. I didn’t tell you because I knew it would upset you.”
“What a perfectly awful reason to lie. But then I suppose you saw me as too fragile to hear the truth.” He spun on his heel and stalked from the members’ den.
Ada fought to breathe. She felt as though she were being squeezed from all sides. She’d expected his anger, but not about that. Her fear had stemmed from Max learning she’d carried on an affair with a married man, not that she saw him as weak. That he thought that tore her apart.
Jonathan put his hand on her waist and guided her to the wall. “You look rather peaked, my darling. What can I do?”
She pulled away from him. “Nothing. I am not your darling, nor am I your concern. I should have told you earlier that I don’t want to marry you.”
His brow furrowed. “But what of our child?”
“There is no child. I chose not to have it.”
“I don’t understand.”
Of course he didn’t. “I was foolish to carry on with you, to love you. I was young and vulnerable, desperate for any sort of connection, especially for love. If that’s what it even was. I honestly don’t know anymore.” She knew she was always more concerned for others than for herself. Her family and their treatment of her had taught her that she was of lesser value, that she needed to work hard to care for others and to never let them down.
“Of course it was love,” he insisted. “I still love you. So much.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t love you.” Ada was desperate to go after Max, to beg him to listen. That he thought she judged him too weak to hear the truth nearly drove her to her knees. She put her hand on the wall. “I should have told you when you called earlier, but I was so shocked to see you. Our time together was a lifetime ago. I have a new life now.” And she desperately loved someone else.
“It feels like yesterday to me,” he said with a touch of defiance.
“Go home, Jonathan.” She agonized over the heartbreak in his eyes, but she couldn’t change that for him.
Belatedly, she wondered how many people had overheard their conversation. They’d kept their voices low, but whatever damage had been done was unchangeable.
She could only try to repair what really mattered. Spinning about, she rushed out of the members’ den and upstairs to Max’s room, thinking that was where he must have gone.
Before knocking, she tried to take a deep breath and failed. She’d been an utter fool.
Chapter20
