Page 89 of Impossible
She smiled, then leaned over to kiss him before rolling to her side.
He stared at the back of her head and basked in the joy that always surrounded her. Somehow, she’d managed to not only bring it to him—she’d given it to him when he’d thought he could never feel it again. Whatever happened tomorrow or the day after that, he’d be forever grateful to her.
Chapter18
Ada helped Max back to his room early, but it was well past dawn. They’d overslept. She wasn’t surprised, considering the excitement of the night before. She helped him get into his own bed and instructed him to go back to sleep to help his shoulder recover.
As she’d kissed him goodbye, she wondered if that would be the last time. Presumably, he’d leave tomorrow. Which meant they had tonight. But should they spend it together knowing they would part in the morning? It was getting more and more difficult.
For her, anyway. She’d no idea how he felt, and she didn’t have the nerve to ask him.
What would he say? That he hated to be apart from her and wanted her to be his wife? There was no way he was ready to do that now—he was still healing. And when he was himself again, or as much himself as he could hope to be, there was no telling what he would do. He’d been clear about his intent to remain unwed and to allow his title to go extinct.
Last night had been full of revelations. She now fully understood the weight of his burden and the depth of his guilt and despair. She also saw that hewashealing, despite what had happened at Vauxhall.
It was difficult not to abandon her work in favor of checking on him. Had he already gone to Lady Peterborough’s? Ada was eager to hear how that went. Hopefully, she’d see him tonight on the men’s side of the club. After last night, there was no guarantee he would want to be in a group of people.
But it could be his last night in London. If he didn’t come, she might consider pushing him into it. When he returned to Stonehill, he could go back to being a hermit.
The thought of that tore at her heartstrings.
It occurred to her in that moment that she ought to perhaps push herself. She’d been thinking of what Evie had said in the coach about taking a boat to Vauxhall. It was, mayhap, time to conquer her fear of the water.
She could take a small boat out onto the Serpentine. That would be easy enough. But the Serpentine was hardly the type of water that made her quake. Oh, she’d avoid it most certainly, but if she truly wanted to overcome her terror, she should take a wherry down the Thames.
The idea made her blood turn cold.
Perhaps she could ask Max to come with her. She knew he would. Even so, she couldn’t depend on him—shouldn’t. It would make his eventual departure that much more painful.
Evie or Prudence, or both of them, would go with her. They could make a day of it, perhaps traveling down to Hampton. Well, perhaps notthatfar.
Before she could relegate it to the back of her mind, Ada gathered her courage and stood from her desk. She made her way down one flight of stairs to Evie’s office.
The door was open, so Ada stepped inside. Evie sat behind her desk writing, the late morning sun streaming from behind her. She looked up and smiled, but a touch of concern marred her normally smooth brow. “Good morning, Ada. I didn’t want to bother you after last night’s excitement. How is Warfield?”
Ada considered prevaricating, but Evie wasn’t stupid. She at least knew that Ada had cared for his wound upon returning to the club. “His injury wasn’t that bad.”
Evie stood and moved around her desk, gesturing to the settee before taking a seat. “And his general demeanor? Is that improved?”
Sitting beside Evie, Ada again decided not to lie. “I think so. The fireworks seem to have put him in a place where he thought he was at war again. Then those men accosted me, and he reacted in a violent manner. He was quite shaken by it all.”
“I could see that. He was also rather angry with Lucien.” She frowned. “Lucien would not explain it to me. I don’t suppose Warfield told you the truth of the matter?”
“That is between him and Lucien.” It was the most diplomatic thing Ada could think to say. She absolutely wouldn’t break Max’s confidence. “I did advise him to speak with Lucien and to mend their breach, if he could.”
“Will he?” Evie clucked her tongue. “I’ve never seen Lucien upset like that.” That was saying something since Evie knew him perhaps better than anyone. She’d been his mistress for some time, and they were still close friends. Ada had asked her once if there was any hope for them in the future. Evie had responded there was not, that she had no romantic feelings for him, nor did he for her.
Ada shrugged. “I can’t say for certain.”
“You and Warfield seem rather close. Dare I hope there is something between you?”
“Why would you, of all people, hope for that?” Ada asked with a laugh. Evie was as against marriage as a person could be. As a former courtesan, she had no desire to be owned by a man ever again. She had no need of their money, and she argued that love could be had without the bondage that marriage required.
“Just because I don’t wish to be a wife doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.” Evie held up her hand before Ada could speak. “I know you prefer to remain unwed, to cling to your independence. But sometimes I think you’re trying to emulate me.”
Ada appreciated Evie’s shrewdness, and she wasn’t wrong. “I did once; however, I am quite content to be Ada Treadway, bookkeeper. For the first time, I feel needed and important, that my loss would be felt. I don’t know that I can trade that for anything.” Emotion tickled her throat, and she coughed gently.
“Hear, hear,” Evie said softly. “I’m so very proud of you. I will be forever glad for the day we met in that tearoom in St. Germans.”
