Page 86 of Impossible
“I took Evie’s advice, and I decided not to have the baby. There are…ways to do that.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “I don’t regret it. Sometimes I think of the child I might have had, and I feel sad, but it was the right thing to do—for me and the child. What I do regret is putting myself in a situation where I had to make that choice. I should have known better.”
He was quiet a long moment before asking, “Is that why you try so hard to resist what we feel for each other?”
He’d seen clear through her. “Yes. Our attraction is something I should avoid.” She said it with a light laugh, but that came from unease. It was more than just the physical pull they felt toward each other. She had to protect her heart. She didn’t want to talk about that, so she diverted the conversation. “What are you going to do about Lucien?”
Max leaned back, frowning. “I don’t know. Perhaps I’m angry with him so that I’m not always angry at myself.”
“You shouldn’t be angry at either.”
He took a labored breath. “I failed to protect Lucia.”
Ada heard the pain in his voice and would have done anything to take it away. “Don’t let guilt rule your life.”
“I should listen to you—since you’re an expert on such things. I am trying.”
“I know. I do think forgiving Lucien and reestablishing your friendship would help. As hard as you think that might be.”
He ran his hand through his blond hair, tousling it so that she longed to make it tidy. No, that was just an excuse to touch him. Her fingers practically itched with the need to do so. After everything he’d told her tonight, she wanted to hold him, to comfort him, to give him the solace he needed.
He wiped his hand over his mouth and sat straighter in the chair. “I’ll try. Lucien will crow about that, I imagine.”
“I don’t think he will. He only wants you to get better. His concern for you has been at the crux of everything he’s tried to do with and for you.”
“When he came to ask for Prudence’s dowry, he tried to persuade me that forging a relationship with her would be good for me.” His jaw tightened. “He was right.”
“I’m so glad you changed your mind about that.”
His eyes met hers. “You were right too. About everything.” He let his gaze dip to her breasts and then lower, heating her already aroused body, before finding her face once more. “It’s a pity I can’t show you how much I appreciate you.”
“It’s not even your turn,” she said, sliding from the chair onto her knees. Moving forward, she gripped his thighs and positioned herself between his legs, which he widened to accommodate her. “It’s my turn to appreciate you.”
“Ada, I thought you were trying to resist me.”
“There can be no harm in this, can there?” She glanced toward his thick erection straining beneath his clothing. Then she looked up at him, working hard to keep the love from her expression. It was difficult. “If I can’t touch you after all you’ve shared with me tonight, I’ll go mad. Will you let me?”
“Only if you let me do so in return.” He caressed her cheek and cupped her chin. “That’s not negotiable.”
She nodded. “All right.”
He leaned forward and captured her mouth in a sweet but savage kiss, his lips and tongue plundering hers as he held her. His other hand gripped her head so he could keep her captive as he deepened the kiss, forcing her head back.
Desire throbbed between her legs as she clutched his thighs, her fingers digging into his breeches. She moved her hands up, searching for the buttons. Finding them, she plucked them free, anticipation building with each one.
She pulled down the fall and slid her hand into the slit of his small clothes. His cock nestled there, thick and hard, his flesh warm and smooth against her. Tucking her fingers beneath him, she encircled him with her hand and moved from the base to the tip, where she pushed back the skin and skimmed her thumb across the top.
He moaned into her mouth before pulling away and falling back against the chair. He slouched down, giving her better access. It wasn’t enough, however. She wanted him bare.
Reluctantly, but necessarily, she let him go to quickly remove his boots. He growled, sounding most aggrieved until he realized what she was doing. When she tugged at his clothing, he lifted his hips so she could more easily peel it from him.
As she exposed his flesh, she licked her lips, then tossed the garments away, including his stockings. Her gaze fell on the scar on his thigh. It was the worst one, really. Long and still reddish where the rest were pink.
“This must have been awful,” she whispered, tracing her fingers along the ruined flesh.
“I barely felt it when it happened. Later, it was terrible. I think it was a bayonet. It apparently came quite close to severing an artery that would have caused me to lose all the blood in my body.”
She snapped her head up. “I’m incredibly glad it didn’t.” She pressed her lips to the scar, then glided her tongue along the rigid flesh.
He moaned, and it was the most intoxicating sound she’d ever heard. Emboldened, she continued her path upward and then to his cock. It stood proud and eager for her touch. Blond curls cloaked him at the base. She cupped his balls, massaging them gently as she watched liquid bead on the tip.
