Page 102 of Impossible
“The hell I’m not.” Max’s shoulders tensed, and pain shot from his wound. “I’ve made a horrible mistake.”
“You’re getting better,” Lucien argued. “And it started when she came to visit.”
He didn’t have to say who “she” was.
Glastonbury looked from Max to Lucien and back again. “Are we talking about Ada? Prudence thinks there’s something between her and you.”
“There is.” That came from Lucien, not Max.
Max curled his hands into fists and held his breath, neither of which he did on purpose. His body had simply tightened up.
Lucien’s dark brows pitched into a V. “Dammit, don’t make me meddle.” He exhaled. “You’re going to make me meddle. Don’t try to deny there’s anything between you and Ada. I know all about the scene in the members’ den last night. I didn’t realize Huxton’s guest would be that dolt who’d come to see Ada earlier in the day.”
Max stared at Lucien. “That’swhat you were referring to yesterday when we walked back from Evesham House. You bloody well should have meddledthen.”
Lucien put a hand on his hip. “Indeed? What would you have done? Would anything be different this morning?”
No, becauseMaxwas the dolt. And he was paralyzed by fear. “I can’t lose her like I lost Lucia.” His voice was barely audible.
“So it’s better to leave her?” Lucien shook his head. “That makes no sense.”
Glastonbury grinned. “It makes perfect sense. Fear makes us do incredibly stupid things—I should know. And fear when we’re in love? Well, that makes us complete idiots.” He pinned Max with a serious stare. “Do you want her?”
“I do. But I don’t think she wants me. Not…forever.”
“Why wouldn’t she?”
“I told you. I’m broken.”
Lucien snorted. “That wouldn’t deter Ada. She’d spend her life fixing you and be happy to do it.”
Max glowered at him and realized he hadn’t glowered at anyone in a while now. The muscles felt a bit tired. “I don’t want to be her project.” He wanted to be her equal. Someone she trusted and shared herself with—and he would show her he could be that person. That hewasthat person.
“I daresay she doesn’t see you that way, not if she loves you in return.”
“I don’t know how she could. I’m a total disaster. Furthermore, she has a life she loves here in London. There’s nothing I could offer her at Stonehill that she could want.”
Glastonbury shook his head. “Exceptyou. Perhaps you are a dolt. I jest.” He gave Max a plaintive look. “Can I give you some advice? Well, I’m going to anyway. Don’t think that you can’t possibly deserve her—that’s not up to you. That’s her decision, and she will likely surprise you.”
Max was always going to be afraid of losing her—he was fairly certain that was part of him now after Lucia. But letting Ada go was worse. He had to stoplettingthings happen. He wanted her. He loved her. And he damn well needed to tell her so.
He turned to Lucien, who shrugged. “I don’t know that she’d leave the Phoenix Club. But if you don’t tell her how you feel, you’ll never know.” His gaze moved to the window. “I think your coach just arrived.”
“Good.” Max pivoted toward Glastonbury. “Where on the Thames did they go?”
“To the Horse Ferry to take a wherry. They are going to Somerset House, where a coach will meet them.”
Max didn’t have gloves or a hat, but he didn’t care. “Lucien, keep Arrow for me until I return.”
“Don’t hold anything back, Warfield!” Glastonbury called after him.
Waving his hand in response, Max dashed out the door and ran to the coach. “Og, to the Horse Ferry with the utmost haste.”
“What the devil?”
“Hurry!” Max climbed into the coach and slammed the door. A moment later, they were on their way.
Instead of fear, he felt hope. Whatever happened, this was right. It was what he needed to do.
