Page 63 of Intolerable
He’d just finished buttoning his fall. “The Crimshaw ball? I will be there.” His lips slowly spread into an utterly magnificent grin.
Cassandra’s heart turned over. “Then I shall see you there. I’m certain you can maneuver an occasion for us to meet.”
“I shall consider it my primary duty. Just remember, that in public, I shall nearly give you the cut direct.” He bowed elegantly as if they were in the middle of the ballroom and hadn’t just enjoyed each other in a thoroughly carnal fashion.
Ballroom! She needed to get back. Already, she was thinking that she’d tell them she came up here—by herself—instead of going to the retiring room. Because surely Prudence had already gone in search of her.
“You’re right. I must go.” She didn’t even have time to kiss him properly. But they had tomorrow. Blowing him a kiss, she turned and left, floating on air as she made her way down to the ball.
Chapter 15
Last night had been the best sleep Ruark could remember. He would say it was because of his restless sleep of the night before and the exhaustion of fighting—and losing to bloody Glastonbury—but he knew it was because of his encounter with Cassandra in the storage room.
She’d fulfilled dreams he didn’t know he had and given him several new ones. Starting with finding ways to get her alone at the ball tonight, a task that had become slightly more difficult once he’d relented to his mother’s pleas to bring her and Kat to the ball tonight.
His coach, one of many in an interminable line, arrived at the front door. “This is so exciting!” his mother exclaimed. “I’m so glad we were able to come. Isn’t it wonderful, Kathleen?” She glanced over at Kat who’d been reading a book the entire way.
Kat didn’t look up. “Mmm.”
“I don’t know how you can read that. The lantern can’t possibly provide enough light.”
“She can probably read in the dark, Mother,” Ruark said pleasantly. “She’s quite driven.”
Snapping the book closed, Kat set it on the seat between herself and the side of the coach. “Thank you for recognizing that, Ruark. Are we getting out of the carriage or have I donned this infernal ballgown for naught?”
Their mother pursed her lips at Kat. “I do hope you’ll shed that attitude once we’re inside.”
Kat’s only response was to motion toward the open door with an expectant look.
Ruark jumped down and helped first his mother then his sister from the coach. Once inside, they made their way to the ballroom where the brightness of hundreds of candles and mirrors upon the walls competed with the noise of ballgoers, some of whom, like Cassandra, were fortunate enough to have a room to stay the night. The rest would stay until dawn but then drive back to London with the rising sun.
He could hardly wait to see Cassandra even if he wasn’t supposed to dance with her. Or promenade with her. Or spend time with her at all. As far as people could see. What they did in secret was another matter entirely. He hoped they’d have an opportunity to steal a few minutes.
Even as he wished to spend time with her, a voice in the back of his head warned that he was behaving stupidly, that this scheme to wait three years was beyond foolish. Except it had been her idea to wait. He should have walked away from her, painful as it would have been. It’s not as if he hadn’t done that before.
But this time was different. He hadn’t told any of the others about the promise he’d made to his father. That he’d told Cassandra, and she not only understood but wanted to wait for him, made him think shehadto be different, that maybe she could be the one he was meant to love. Forever.
If he could.
The fear that he wouldn’t be able to or that her emotions would change was very real, even if it seemed absurd. He didn’t want to fall out of love with her and if he didn’t push her away, as he had the others, perhaps that would increase the chance that their love would persist.
It was only three years. Unless he broke his vow. If he still loved her in a year, would he feel confident to take the next step toward their future together?
He began to shake. He needed to take this slowly. One day at a time.
As they reached the ballroom, he willed himself to relax and focus on just tonight.
“My goodness, look at all the people,” his mother said with quiet awe. “So many potential husbands.” She gripped Ruark’s arm. “This is splendid. Thank you.”
“So many potential subjects,” Kat murmured from his other side.
Ruark bit back a smile. “Shh. Mother will hear you. You must behave.”
“I will if you will.”
For a moment, Ruark wondered if she knew he was hoping to have an assignation with Cassandra. But how could she? Kat was merely being sarcastic.
They mingled for a while before the music started and Ruark scanned the ballroom for Cassandra. Had she not come? What if Glastonbury had arrived before she’d left, and they were now betrothed? Ruark felt as if he’d been punched repeatedly in the gut.
