Page 34 of Intolerable
“You’ve nothing to feel ashamed of. It’s not uncommon.” He thought of a young lad who’d come to the boxing club to train only to faint at the sight of another fighter bleeding. He’d never returned. Ruark decided not to share that story, however.
“It isn’t?”
“I know of at least one other person who reacts in the same way—a gentleman.”
She exhaled, the breath leaving her in a stutter. “That’s slightly comforting.”
“I wish I could banish your fear entirely.”
Her gaze met his once more, and a slight smile tugged at her mouth. “I appreciate that. Alas, I’ve been plagued with this irrational terror for fifteen years.”
He desperately wanted to lighten the mood for her, to get her to truly relax and let the tension tightening her body go. “I could kiss you as a distraction, but your brother is inside and who’s to say if we’d be seen. This—the way we are sitting here practically embracing—is scandalous enough.”
“Everything about you is scandalous,” she murmured. The air shifted, and where there’d been worry and apprehension, there was now heat and longing.
“Where you’re concerned, yes.”
“That is a problem, I think.” She lifted her chin, bringing her mouth closer to his.
The need to kiss her again was overwhelming. His fingers dug into her side as his other hand cupped her neck. She should tell him to stop. No, he should just stop. Let her go, help her up, take her inside.
But here they were in the same place—more or less—where they’d first kissed. He could no longer deny the impression that incident had left on him. He could no longer ignore the pull he felt toward her, and it wasn’t just about kissing. He enjoyed her humor, admired her spirit, and as of this moment, he felt a desperate need to protect her.
To possess her.
No, this couldn’t happen again. She was Lucien’s sister. Ruark had known her for years. Extricating himself from her, from his feelings for her, would not be as easy as it had been in the past. Hell, it had never been easy.
But he was not yet ready to move in the other direction—to pursue anything more that might lead to marriage. It wasn’t time. No matter how he felt about her or any of the women in the past, nothing could make him break his vow.
He brought his hand from her neck and loosened his hold on her side. “Feeling better?”
She blinked and removed her hand from his chest. Straightening, she edged away from him on the bench, and he withdrew his arm from around her.
“Yes, thank you. We should go back inside. We’ve been gone too long, probably.”
“Not terribly long, but yes, let’s go back.” He stood, offering his hand to help her up.
She smoothed away the wrinkles in her gown created from sitting. “Thank you for caring for me in my moment of…distress.”
He let out a sardonic laugh. “That’s the least I could do since I caused it.”
Her answering smile was sly and charming, very much the Cassandra he knew. He was glad he hadn’t broken her, but then he suspected it would takemuchmore to do that.
“Time to get on with the Glastonbury Plan,” she announced. “What is it you’re helping with exactly?”
“I’m merely to ensure you have opportunities to dance and spend time with him.”
“Which I can’t do if I’m walking outside with you.” She laughed with an air of admonishment as she tapped his chest. “I think you lured me out here to kiss me again.”
In his heart, he knew it was true, even if his mind hadn’t been aware. “You are a tempting minx, Lady Cassandra.”
“Not tempting enough,” she whispered, looking toward the club.
He wanted to tell her she was more than tempting enough, that he was barely keeping a rein on his passion, that he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. Among other things. “If you’d rather go home, you can.”
“My father will be angry if I don’t dance with Glastonbury. And Lucien went to a great deal of effort to get the viscount here tonight.” She looked at him askance. “But I suspect you know all about that since you are on the membership committee.”
Pressing his lips together, he wouldn’t respond to that. Instead, he focused on Glastonbury. “If you truly aren’t interested in marrying Glastonbury, you shouldn’t bother with any of this.”
