Page 88 of Intolerable
“That was the absolute truth. I was an idiot for not telling you everything.”
“Now,thatis the truth.” Cassandra felt no elation at the pain flashing in his eyes. It matched hers, and she took no pleasure in sharing that with him, even after he’d hurt her. “Did you truly love me?”
“I love you now. I may love you forever.”
She heard the doubt in his voice. It was small but present. “But you’re afraid you won’t.”
“That’s what I’ve always been afraid of. I never wanted to hurt you. I allowed my passion for you to override my sense. I am so sorry.” The emotions she’d seen in his eyes upstairs shone brightly, especially love. She didn’t doubt he felt that for her—at least for now.
She swallowed as emotion welled in her chest. “I don’t want to be angry or hate you. But I can’t wait for you to decide if what we share is worth the risk. Because it is a risk. Everything is. You may not love me next week, but if we’d made a commitment, I’d hope you would try. Maybe I’ll die tomorrow, and you’ll regret not taking the chance. I haven’t been in love before, but I never doubted for a moment that what I felt for you was right and true. I think we could have been happy, but I won’t wait any longer. I need to move on with my life.”
Anguish filled his gaze. “Promise me you won’t die, Cass.”
She almost laughed. If their relationship had changed so dramatically, she might have. “We have no control, Ruark. But we can decide how we feel. Now please go. You’ve made Sabrina and Prudence linger long enough.”
“I just want you to be happy,” he murmured. Sending her a small, sad smile, he left the coach.
Cassandra stared at the empty seat as Sabrina and Prudence climbed inside. No one spoke until they began to move.
“Did you hear any of that?” Cassandra asked, her voice sounding hoarse.
“Some,” Sabrina answered. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Perhaps we should go home.”
“No.” Cassandra blinked and tipped her head back for a moment. “Wexford is not the man for me. I thought he might be, but he doesn’t know his own heart. How can I possibly entrust him with mine?”
“A wise decision,” Prudence said.
“Let us continue to the next rout. I refuse to allow Wexford to ruin my evening.”Or my life.
“I’m so sorry things didn’t work out between you,” Sabrina said, lightly touching Cassandra’s arm.
“Glastonbury is likely a better match.” Except for the boxing, but she’d speak with him about that.
“You don’t love Glastonbury,” Prudence whispered.
“Love is no longer a requirement.” There was a sharp twinge in her chest indicating her heart didn’t agree, but she’d just keep building that wall around it.
“You said you couldn’t entrust Wexford with your heart,” Sabrina said, seeming to understand Cassandra’s thoughts. “That appears to indicate you’d like to entrust it to someone.”
Another twinge, perhaps because her heart agreed with Sabrina’s logic. “And I may. I’ll be frank with Glastonbury tomorrow. I don’t love him now, but I hope we will grow to share a deep affection for one another, if not love. If he doesn’t agree, then he isn’t the right man either.”
Sabrina actually smiled. “You were right when you said everything is a risk. Even speaking the truth. Especially that sometimes. I applaud you for speaking so directly. Open communication and honesty are an excellent way to start. If Constantine and I had done that, we may have saved ourselves a great deal of heartache.”
“Is that all it took for you to find love with one another?” Cassandra asked.
“Mostly, yes. We both had misconceptions and just completely wrong expectations. Once we cleared those up, it was astonishing how well we were suited.”
“How lovely,” Prudence murmured.
“Then I am doubly glad to begin this way with Glastonbury. Come tomorrow, I’ll know if he’s the man I should marry.” Too bad he wasn’t the one she wanted. But she’d get over that—she had to.
Chapter 21
Aheaviness weighed on Ruark as he trudged back into the rout after leaving Cassandra’s coach.
I need to move on with my life.
Of course she did, and he didn’t blame her. The blame was squarely his. Still, her words cut deep.
