Page 14 of Impassioned
Sabrina tried to think of his behavior, but it was difficult. She was typically too engrossed in her own anxiety to pay attention to how he felt. But then her anxiety was partially due to his dispassion for her. “He doesn’t seem to.”
“Does he orgasm?”
Sabrina blinked at her. “Does he what?”
“Orgasm. Come. Find his release.”
“Oh, yes, he releases his seed.”
“Men generally find pleasure when that occurs, to varying degrees. I’m assuming you don’t realize there is a feminine version of that where you feel pleasure?”
Frowning, Sabrina tried to understand. “I don’t have any seed to spill.”
“No, but you can still find pleasure—astonishing pleasure—and any good husband will ensure you do. I’ve half a mind to knock some sense into Aldington.” Her brows knitted angrily as the muscles in her jaw clenched.
“Can that still happen if their wife is shaking in fear?” Or if the husband has no desire for the act?
Mrs. Renshaw grimaced. “Perhaps not. In that instance, he may just do what he must in order to get things over with. Thisisa conundrum.”
“Why? Is pleasure necessary to have a child?” Perhaps that was why she hadn’t conceived.
“Sadly, no, but it’s better, is it not? Otherwise, it’s just a dull and terrible duty.”
Yes, that waspreciselywhat it was.
Mrs. Renshaw straightened. “You only need to show your husband that you are no longer afraid, that you welcome his advances—that youdesirehim.”
Did she though? Sabrina had always found him attractive. She recalled the sensation that had stolen through her when she’d smelled his scent the night before. Was that akin to desire? “I’m not sure I know what that feels like,” she whispered, hating to admit it but somehow knowing this woman wouldn’t shame her.
Mrs. Renshaw’s gaze shone with understanding and warmth. “Oh, Lady Aldington, we shall ensure that you do.”
“Please, call me Sabrina. This is such an intimate conversation.” Again, her cheeks flamed. “Surely only friends can speak in this manner.”
Smiling, Mrs. Renshaw nodded in agreement. “Just so. You must call me Evie.”
“Assuming I can feel desire for him, what will I do if he is still reluctant? What if he doesn’t desire me in return?”
“I’m willing to bet that he will. However, his behavior is puzzling. There could be any number of reasons for his reluctance, including your fear.” She pressed her palm to her jawline and glanced away. When she pulled her focus back to Sabrina, she returned her hand to her lap. “There is one possibility regarding his reluctance, and if that’s the case, there is not much that can be done about it, I’m afraid.”
“This doesn’t sound good. What is it?”
“Perhaps Lord Aldington prefers a male partner in bed.”
Sabrina clapped her hand over her mouth. “I hadn’t considered that.” And likely wouldn’t have if she lived five hundred years. How she loathed her naïveté. “I believe he has a mistress. Perhaps it’s not a woman.”
“It’s more common than you realize.” Evie said this with a certainty that made Sabrina incredibly curious. Despite that, she couldn’t bring herself to ask how Evie knew. Perhaps when they became closer friends, she might summon the nerve. “How do you know about his mistress?”
“I asked if he had one and he immediately denied it.Tooimmediately to be believed. You can confirm it?”
Evie shook her head. “This is the first I’ve heard—there are no rumors that he has a mistress. Aldington is an extremely private person. Does it concern you?”
Sabrina leaned back. “Not particularly. I know men like him usually have mistresses. Given the state of our marriage, I think I’d be more surprised if hedidn’thave one. However, if it’s a man, I’m not at all sure how to proceed.”
Perhaps she would have to do what she’d brazenly—and without thought—threatened the night before: have a child without him. The thought of that only filled her with more anxiety, which she absolutely did not need. She considered retreating to Hampton Lodge to perhaps hide under a blanket.
No, the old Sabrina would do that. New Sabrina wasn’t going to sit by and let life happen to her. “What can I do to feel less apprehensive?”
“It doesn’t sound as if you know each other at all,” Evie said.
