Page 94 of The Duke of Distraction
He resisted hugging her in return, desperate to keep some small part of himself guarded and safe.“You can’t say that.”
“I can believe it because I must.I believe in our future, in us, and if there will be tragedy or grief, I will still take what we have.I don’t want the alternative.I don’t want life without you, however long it might be.”She pulled back and touched his face, her hand caressing his cheek.“I see that you’re scared.And I think I can see why.Not because of love or loss—at least not just because of those things, but because, I think, you somehow don’t believe you deserve to love and be loved.But Felix, youdo.”
He stared at her, the riot inside him quieting for the first time in the presence of another person.Because of the words and comfort of another person.“I don’t think anyone has ever seen the real me.Not until now.”
“Then it is my honor.”
It couldn’t be this easy.What if Anthony was right?What if he did devastate her?“I don’t know how to do this, Sarah.Love.Trust.”Felix glanced briefly toward the tomb.“He broke me.”
A tear tracked down her cheek, but she still smiled for him.“We’ll do it together.”Her voice was steady and sure.
The dam inside him tore apart, and emotions, so many emotions, cascaded forth.He felt wetness on his cheeks for the first time in so long.He put his arms around her and brought her flush to his chest, then he kissed her, his soul seeking the solace he knew only she could give.
He picked her up and carried her outside.“I can’t be in there with him anymore.”He set her down a distance from the church, in the shade of a pair of trees.“I just want you, Sarah.I needyou.”He gently stroked the sides of her face, his palms resting against her cheeks.“I love you.”
She smiled, and he feared his heart might burst.
He kissed her again, his mouth claiming hers with sweet desperation.Touching her, feeling her was like air in his lungs after a lifetime underwater.She clasped his shoulders and pressed her body into his.He wanted to lose himself in her completely.No, he wanted to show her the depth of his emotions, the utter urgency he felt to possess her and be possessed.
He sank to the ground, pulling her with him.Kissing her, he scrambled to find the hem of her skirt, lifting it as her fingers found the buttons of his fall.
He pressed her back and rose above her, drawing in breath.“Is this terrible?”
She laughed softly and shook her head.“This is wonderful.Love me, Felix.Now.”
She opened his breeches and he pushed her gown to her waist.His fingers found her sex, and she was more than ready.Her hand guided him forward, and he sank into her wet heat.Groaning low in his throat, he began to move.
She held him, one hand on his back and the other on his backside, pulling him deeper as her legs curled around his waist.
Passion, dizzying and reckless, consumed him.Her legs quivered, and her muscles tensed.She cried out as she clenched around him, and he drove into her, uncaring that he screamed her name when he climaxed.And uncaring that he poured himself and their future into her.
No, not uncaring.He did so with tender deliberation and boundless love.
She pressed her legs tighter around him, keeping him inside her.He kissed her cheek, her ear, and whispered, “I’m not leaving.Not ever.”
She pulled his mouth to hers.“Good.”
Several minutes later, or maybe it was an hour, Felix didn’t know, nor did he care, he helped her to stand.Somehow his hat had ended up several feet away.Sarah’s was still atop her head, but quite askew.
“I’m amazed your hat is still in place,” he mused.“Must be the excellent craftsmanship.”
She laughed as she straightened it.“Must be.I hope people are willing to pay for them.”
“They will, but even if they don’t, I have it on good authority that you needn’t worry about planning for a spinster future.”
She paused in putting herself back together.“You know that’s not why I’m marrying you.”
He picked up his hat and returned to her.“I know precisely why you’re marrying me.The same reason I’m marrying you—I can’t live without you.”
She kissed him again, and it was some time before she suggested they return to the house.
“Must we?”he asked.
She nodded, tucking her arm through his.“I’m afraid we need to get to a birthday party.If you’re amenable.”
Joy filled his soul.“I’m more than amenable.I can hardly wait.”
After a brief stop at the house to organize Felix’s birthday dinner, they went into Ware, where Felix purchased their marriage license.Then Sarah stopped to buy some hat supplies.Though it had started with uncertainty and apprehension, it had turned out to be the best day of Sarah’s life.
