Page 91 of The Duke of Distraction
She took a step forward.“You’re upset.I’ve never seen you upset.”
“I don’t get upset.”He worked to keep his voice even, as he hadn’t done inside.
“I know.And you should.”
“What good does it do?Look at Anthony.He’s a mess of emotion, and it bleeds all over everyone else.”
“Am I a mess?”she asked softly.
“Of course not.”
“But I’m overflowing with emotion.”She took another step.
Felix pivoted so that he presented her with his profile.“I can’t.”He shook his head.“I can’t help you with that.”
“But you have.You help everyone.That’s what you do.”
Yes, that was what he did.But he couldn’t do that for her.Not knowing what he knew.That shelovedhim.When he’d realized everything had changed between them, he never imagined it would be this drastic.That being with her would rob him of his breath and tie him up so tightly that he felt as though he couldn’t move.
He focused his gaze on a distant tree.“Anthony doesn’t want me here, and I understand that.I’ll be at Stag’s Court.Stay here as long as you like, and we’ll set the wedding whenever you decide.”
She moved into his line of sight, her face a mass of concern and a dozen other emotions he didn’t want to see.“You assume I’m staying here.”
“Aren’t you?”He lifted his gaze to her hair, dark and upswept, the curls a memory against his fingertips.“You didn’t bring your hat.”
“You also assume we’re still getting married.”
“Have you changed your mind again?”He kept his tone perfectly even.He wouldn’t persuade her—either way.It was entirely her choice.
“When you didn’t say anything to Allencourt this morning, I wondered ifyou’dchangedyourmind.Have you?”She blinked at him, her facing clearing into a stoic mask.Her voice held none of the emotion it had.
She was, he realized, behaving exactly like him.
“I’ll just return to Stag’s Court.Advise me of what you want to do about the wedding.”He inclined his head toward his footman and climbed into the coach.
She moved to the doorway and looked inside.“I’ll make sure Beck and Lavinia find their way back.”Now her tone carried emotion—sarcasm.
He nodded, and she stepped away, allowing the footman to close the door.
As he departed the place he’d long thought of as a home, he wondered if he’d ever return.He wondered if the past had finally caught up with him and would steal the meager happiness he’d managed to grasp.
Sarah stared after the coach until long after it had disappeared, then turned and walked woodenly back to the house.Inside, she found Lavinia waiting for her in the entry hall.
“What can I do?”she asked.
Sarah shrugged, feeling numb.“I don’t know.He’s gone, of course.”
Lavinia nodded.“Shall I send for tea?Or would you like to go to your room and rest?”
Hit with a sudden burst of anger, she strode away from Lavinia and went back to the drawing room.Beck stood near the fireplace, his head bent.He glanced up as she came in, but her gaze shot directly to Anthony.He held a glass of whisky or some other spirit and stared at the window toward the back garden their mother had loved.
Sarah stopped a few feet from her brother.“Anthony, you will cease behaving like a jackass.”
He turned and glowered at her.“Did he leave?”
“Yes, thanks to you.You can’t be angry with him.”
“I’ll be angry with whomever I like.”
