Page 90 of The Duke of Distraction
“Shall we go to Oaklands, then?”Lavinia asked as they made their way back to the coach.
Felix imagined Anthony’s anger and disappointment.He’d lost his parents, his best friend had ruined his sister, and now the man who’d killed his parents had escaped Anthony’s vengeance.“He may prefer to be alone.”Hadn’t he said he wanted to be?
“I’m sure he does, but our following him clearly establishes that we don’t agree with that sentiment.”Sarah let go of Felix’s arm.“We’re going to Oaklands.”She climbed into the coach, leaving no room for further dispute.
Once they were inside the coach, Sarah sent him an odd look.It was a mixture of curiosity and doubt.Whatever she was thinking, it only added to his discomfort.
It took nearly an hour to arrive at Oaklands, the Colton family’s estate.Smaller than Stag’s Court, it provoked a much stronger sense of nostalgia than Felix’s own home.He recalled times spent here in his youth where other people had provided a buffer between him and his father.Happy times.
Maybe the happiest.
Sarah didn’t take Felix’s arm this time.She hastened to the door and embraced the butler, who hugged her warmly.
“He’s in your father’s study.”The butler cleared his throat.“I mean, his study.”
Sarah nodded and moved into the house.Felix inclined his head to the man, a sturdy fellow in his middle fifties.“It’s good to see you, Inman.”
“And you, my lord.”
Felix introduced Beck and Lavinia, but the butler greeted Lavinia as if they’d already met, and she did the same.“I’ve visited a few times,” she explained.
Inman suggested they go to the drawing room.As they went, Felix felt as if he were walking on a field of broken glass.He was racked with inner turmoil about Sarah and Anthony, and fuck, everything it seemed.
“It must be difficult for them being back here,” Beck said.
“I know it is for Sarah,” Lavinia said.“She was torn between wanting to be here because it’s home and needing to stay away.”She gave Beck a sad look.He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her wrist.
Felix turned away.For the first time in years, he thought of his first visit here.He’d come with his father, invited by the Coltons.Aside from George, Anthony had been the only child Felix had met.To befriend a boy with whom he could run and fish and climb trees had filled him with a joy he hadn’t realized he’d been missing.Oh, he’d tried to do those things with George, but she wasn’t always allowed—either by her parents who thought she should behave more like a girl, whatever that meant, or especially by Felix’s father who told him he shouldn’t play with girls, particularly the steward’s daughter.But that was only when his father was paying attention, when he wasn’t submerged in a bottle.
After some time, Felix began to pace while Beck and Lavinia sat together on a small settee.They looked perfectly fine, content even, to sit quietly and wait.Felix felt as if he were going to explode.God, he hated this.How could he make it stop?
He needed to find something else to do.Something that would take him away from this agony.
He turned to face Beck and Lavinia.“I think I should go.My being here will probably upset Anthony.He’s still rather angry with me.”And likely always would be.
“Yes, I am,” Anthony said, coming into the room with Sarah trailing behind him.Her face was pale, her features tense.“You shouldn’t have come.”It wasn’t clear if he meant Felix or everyone.“You should all go back to Stag’s Court.”
Beck and Lavinia stood.“We were sorry to hear about the highwayman, but at least he’s gone,” Beck said.
Anthony’s mouth tightened.“I should have left yesterday as soon as I heard.But I was distracted by—” He sent a dark glare at Felix and then Sarah.
Felix, already wound up tight as a clock, could no longer keep himself in check.“Stop it.Stop shaming Sarah.You don’t own the right to feel sad and angry and seek comfort where you may.That your sister chose me instead of a bloody bottle isn’t your concern.”
Anthony stepped forward, his eyes blazing.“You aren’t really going to try that argument again, are you?”
“There is no argument.”Felix felt as if his blood were boiling, but he managed to rein himself in.“Sarah and I are getting married.There is no damage done here.”
“Not yet, but you don’t want to marry her.You don’t want to marry anyone.How long will it be until you turn from her?Until you devastate her?”
Yes, their friendship was over, and Felix was glad for it.“Go to hell, Anthony.”He stormed from the room and wove his way back to the entry hall, where he brushed past Inman without saying a word.
Outside, he paused.He couldn’t just abandon Beck and Lavinia here.And Sarah.Hell, it was her house.He couldn’t abandon her where she lived.
Soon, your house will be her house.
“Felix!”
The sound of her voice hit him like an arrow.He slowly turned to see her standing several feet away.She’d removed her hat, which he took as a sign that she meant to stay.
