Page 83 of The Duke of Distraction
Goddammit.
His insides twisted anew, and he fought against the roil of emotion.“You weren’t wrong before.I don’t wish to marry.Nothing has changed.”
“I should hopesomethinghas changed.”She blanched.“That’s not fair.You didn’t ask for this.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, trying to put his thoughts into words.“Of course things have changed.They changed at Darent Hall, and clearly we can’t go back to the way they were.”He moved toward her, leaving just a few feet between them.“I meant that my feelings about marriage haven’t changed.But, if I am to marry anyone, I would prefer it were you.”
She stared at him a moment, and he had no idea what she was thinking.At last, she said, “Thank you?”
He smiled, the tension inside him easing again—not entirely, but a little, at least.“People marry for all sorts of reasons, and many of them don’t even end up liking each other.Just look at my aunt and uncle.We at least like each other.I should hope we will always be friends, and I would think that would make for a rather successful marriage.”
She didn’t look convinced.“As just friends?”
Friendship couldn’t begin to describe what he and Sarah shared.And right now, he had no ideahowto describe it, or if he even could.“Well, a bit more than that.It seems as though we’re rather attracted to each other.”
She blushed, and he wondered if he’d ever grow tired of seeing her do that.“So it seems,” she murmured.
“So we’ll wed.”As he said the words, his body felt as if it were detaching from his brain and floating away.
“Yes.”She gave him a tentative look.“If that’s acceptable to you.”
“It is.”Barely.How was he going to do this?
Just like you do everything, as if you haven’t a care in the world.Get a hold of yourself.
“You’re uncle isn’t going to be happy,” she said.
“Probably not, but that isn’t my concern.And anyway, maybe we won’t have a son.”
Her brows ticked up, acknowledging what he said, but she didn’t say anything in response.Instead, she said, “We should tell Anthony.”
Felix’s discomfort elevated once more.Anthony would be satisfied, but Felix still worried their friendship was irrevocably damaged.No matter what he said, Anthony would never be able to forget what he’d seen or change what he believed—that Felix had exploited his sister in a time of extreme vulnerability.Did she believe that too?
“Sarah, I want you to know that I never meant to take advantage of you.”
“Of course I know that.You tried to talk me out of my foolishness.I just…” She looked away.“Perhaps I surrendered to my own feelings of loneliness.”When she returned her gaze to his, her eyes were bright with tears.“I’m sorry for putting you in this position.If you truly don’t want to marry, Anthony will come to understand.”
He wouldn’t either.Felix closed the distance between them and put his arms around her, drawing her against his chest.She rested her cheek against his coat and hugged him in return.“I’m not marrying you to save my friendship with Anthony.Though I will be honest and tell you I hope itcanbe saved.Right now, I’m not optimistic.”
She looked up at him.“Have faith.Anthony is just having a difficult time.”
Yes, he was, and Felix wished he could take his friend’s pain away.“Let’s go find him.”
Felix took her arm, and they went to Anthony’s chamber.After knocking twice, the door finally opened.Anthony held an empty tumbler and scowled at them.
“We’re getting married,” Sarah said.
“Good.”It was more a grunt than a word.Anthony lifted the glass to his lips and drank.Upon realizing it was empty, he frowned and lowered it.“When?”
Sarah looked at Felix.They hadn’t discussed that.“As soon as you say so,” Felix said, hoping Sarah would find that acceptable.
Anthony exhaled, and it was clear he’d been drinking for some time.Probably all afternoon.“Any time soon isn’t ideal.”He looked at them both as if they were naughty children.“A month from now should suffice.”
Felix turned to Sarah.“Do you want to wed in Ware or Harlow?Or London?”
“Ware,” Anthony said, drawing Sarah to snap her attention toward him.She nodded in agreement, and Felix was curious as to why they both seemed to prefer that.“I’m leaving for Epping in the morning.”Anthony’s lip curled.“I received word earlier that the highwaymen attacked another coach.One of them was shot and taken to the magistrate.I will see he hangs for murder.”
That had been his news, why he’d stormed into Felix’s study when the door was shut.Felix had no doubt Anthony had gone to his study to ask him to accompany him to Epping.
