Page 80 of The Duke of Distraction
“Not really.The earl drank to excess—pardon, to me, Felix’s father is the earl.”She moved toward one of the groupings of cowslips, daisies, and cranesbill.“I’m just going to pick some flowers for my mother.”
Sarah trailed along after her, though she was intensely curious about Felix’s father and wanted to go into the church to see his tomb, as well as Felix’s mother’s.She couldn’t keep from asking about the former earl.“So Felix wasn’t close to his father?”Had his passion for drink prevented a familial relationship?And was it that Felix didn’t want to remember as opposed to not being able to?
“Not really.The earl was nearly always melancholy.My mother said he never got over losing his wife.”She bent to pluck a handful of stems.“It’s sad when you think about it.I’m not sure how I would carry on without Mr.Vane.I would, because I must, but it would be difficult.Far more difficult than losing my mother, I think, whom I miss every day.”
There was no mistaking the love in George’s tone, both for her husband and her mother.“To have so much love in one’s life is truly a gift.You’re very lucky,” Sarah said softly.
George gave her a warm smile.“I am fortunate.And grateful.I’ve been fortunate to have Felix too.Aside from giving me an opportunity no other man would give a woman, he’s been an incredible support and friend.When my mother died, he was always there with kindness and laughter for me and my father.But that’s his nature.”
It was indeed, but Sarah began to think there was a reason for it.“I imagine you did the same for him when his father died.”
George gathered the flowers she’d picked and led Sarah toward the churchyard.“Of course, though it wasn’t that necessary.Honestly, the earl’s death was a relief to all of us.”
“He wasn’t sad?”Sarah struggled to understand how that could be.She didn’t always agree with her parents, and Lord knew their relationship had been strained of late, but she couldn’t imagine feeling relieved or not being sad.
“Not that he showed, but you know how he is.”George stepped through the gate into the churchyard, and Sarah reached to hold it open.
Yes, she knew how he was, and now she was beginning to understand.She tried to think of a time when he’d expressed any strong emotion—anger, disappointment, sadness…love.
Sarah stood back while George went to her mother’s grave.After laying the flowers in front of the headstone, she spoke softly—words Sarah couldn’t hear and didn’t try to.Then she put her hand to her lips and pressed her fingertips against the headstone.Sarah’s throat closed, and tears stung her eyes.
She turned and made her way to the church.Circling around to the front of the building, she pushed open the door and stepped into the dim interior.One large window over the door provided most of the light, but smaller windows were set at intervals along the sides.There were two rows of pews on either side facing the aisle, and the altar stood at the opposite end.
George came in behind her.“The Ware tomb is behind the altar.Do you want to see it?”
Though she felt a bit like she was intruding, Sarah decided it wasn’t strange to want to pay respect to one’s future in-laws.
Was she truly considering marriage?She’d already refused him.Surely he was basking in relief, and she had no expectation he’d ask again.
“If you think it’s all right,” Sarah answered.
“Of course.”
Sarah followed George down the aisle and behind the altar.The tombs were stacked within the wall with the names and dates etched on the face of each one.
George moved to the right and gestured toward the floor.“Here are Felix’s parents.”
Sarah squatted down to read their names—his father on the bottom and his mother above him.Mary Ware had died on July first.“The day after tomorrow will be the anniversary of her death.”
George nodded.“Felix’s birthday, of course.”
Blinking, Sarah rose.“I hadn’t put the two together, but of course it is.”Because she’d died giving birth to him.“I just realized I’ve never known when Felix’s birthday is.”
The only reason it stuck out to her was because Felix never failed to remember her birthday or Anthony’s.Or anyone else he considered a close friend.In fact, she recalled the birthday celebration he orchestrated when Anthony turned twenty-one.She’d only heard about it, of course, because she certainly hadn’t been invited.
She suddenly wanted to do something nice for him, as he’d always done for everyone else.“We should have a party to celebrate since we’re here—and Lavinia and Beck.”
George shook her head.“I don’t think he’d care for that.”Then she shrugged, seeming to change her mind.“Maybe ask him about it.”
“I will.”Sarah was more curious about him than ever.She looked at the names on the stone another moment and then told George she was ready to go.
“Are you going back to the house?”George asked as they made their way from the church.
She probably should, but she wasn’t particularly looking forward to seeing Felix or Anthony.She did, however, want to talk with Lavinia.
Had she and Beck heard Anthony yelling?Or hitting Felix?Sarah flinched as she recalled the punch and hoped Felix was all right.She hadn’t even asked before she’d fled the house.
House… George had asked her if she was going back there.“Eventually,” Sarah said with a vague smile.“It’s such a lovely day.”
