Page 71 of The Duke of Distraction
“Of course I have.But he always says it’s about me, not him.”She rolled her eyes.“He’s long been too focused on pleasing everyone around him.I’m not sure he knows how to allow others to do the same for him.”
“You mean to ensure he does.”
Sarah nodded, then winced.“However, I have no idea what to do.”
Lavinia’s lips spread in a wicked, conspiratorial smile.“Well, I can help you with that.”
Sarah relaxed back against the settee.“Thank goodness.”She sipped her sherry and awaited Lavinia’s advice.
“Do you want to marry him?”Lavinia asked.
“No.”She hadn’t thought about it because it wasn’t even an option—not with Felix.“Felix won’t ever marry.”
“Do you still plan to?”
“Yes.”She narrowed her eyes at Lavinia.“Why does any of this matter?”
“You can’t very well have sex with Felix if you plan to marry.”
Sarah snorted.“I should remain a virgin for my husband while it is all but likely he has not?”
Lavinia’s nose wrinkled as if she’d smelled something noxious.“That is the generally accepted norm.”
“Do women really do that?”Sarah asked.“Were you a virgin when you wed Beck?”
“Er, no.But I was when we lay together the first time.And that was the day we became betrothed.Fanny and I discussed this the other day.She admitted she had sexual intercourse with David before they were betrothed.”Lavinia shook her head.“But our circumstances are very different.YouknowFelix won’t marry you, so why risk your future marriage?”
Sarah stuck her tongue between her lips and blew to make a noise of disgust.“Whether I have sex with him or not isn’t something I want to debate.I merely wanted advice on how to give him pleasure.However, if you’d rather counsel me on morality, I shall manage on my own.”
Lavinia exhaled.“My apologies.You are my dearest friend.I am only looking out for your future—and your feelings.It doesn’t seem as though you are allowing emotion into this liaison.”
“Love.I’m not allowing love.I do care for Felix.”Sarah set her sherry glass on the table beside the settee.“I never imagined something like this could have happened between us,” she said softly, trying to think of how they’d arrived at this place.It was because of her parents’ dying, because of her grief.Uneasiness crept over Sarah.
“We never really talked about Guess the Kisser at Darent Hall,” Lavinia said slowly, her gaze probing.
“No, because my parents were murdered and such conversation seemed rather trivial.”It still was.The melancholy that had ruled Sarah’s mind for so many weeks tried to take command once more.
Lavinia nodded solemnly, and they were quiet a moment.At length, she said, “I take it Guess the Kisser changed everything between you and Felix?”
More than she ever could have imagined.Not that she’d even imagined.Kissing Felix had never entered her mind.“Yes.”
“I assumed it would.Unless the kiss was terrible.”Lavinia laughed softly, giving Sarah some much-needed levity.“Although that would have changed things too.Can you imagine if he’d had terrible breath?Or if he hadn’t known how to kiss?”
Sarah grinned.“Or if he’d smelled bad, like rotting fish, perhaps.”
They giggled, and Sarah felt much better.She was so glad to have her friend here.
Lavinia sipped her sherry once more.“But the kiss was exceptional, of course.”
“Of course.”
“But then… Well, never mind.Did anything happen in London?”
Sarah shook her head.“Not until we came here.It seemed to be this…thing between us.So we talked about it and tried to pretend it never happened.”
Lavinia’s brown eyes sparkled.“I can see how well that worked.”
“Yes, quite.We did try.It’s difficult when you’re in a dark grotto that reminds you of a dark closet where you kissed for the first time.”When Sarah had greeted Lavinia and Beck that afternoon, she’d told them that she and Felix had just come from Scott’s Grotto.She and Felix had told Lavinia all about the wonderful rocks and fossils embedded in the tunnels.
