Page 56 of The Duke of Distraction
Chapter 9
The horrid novels held no appeal for Sarah that night.After dinner, Anthony and Felix had left again, but this time, they hadn’t revealed their destination.She could well imagine where they’d gone, however.
It was late when she found herself in the sitting room adjacent to her bedchamber.Several crates full of hat-making supplies stood against the wall.Kneeling in front of them, she looked through the forms and ribbons and fabric.There were a few flowers, but nothing that inspired her.She’d begun to fashion her own blossoms and wondered if she might be able to use the glue to create something interesting.
She sat back on the floor and pulled out a length of ribbon.She twirled it around her finger to make the bud of a rose.Yes, glue could work nicely.She began to think of the things she could make, and then she began to think of Dolly and her expertise and how together, they could create the most beautiful hats in London.
“You can’t do that!”Her mother’s voice intruded on her fantasy.
“Why not?”Sarah said to the empty room.The shopwouldmake her happy, just as it would have disappointed her parents.And now there was no one to stand in her way.Her parents’ death had made it possible for her to pursue the life she wanted—her shop and marriage to a man she loved,ifshe loved one.
The realization stole her breath for a moment.She couldn’t begladthey were gone.Of course, she wasn’t.And she refused to benefit from them being gone.
Hot tears tracked down her cheeks as anger and frustration boiled inside her.She threw the ribbon back into the crate and wiped at her face.
“Sarah?”
The sound of Felix’s voice cooled her emotions.
He came into the sitting room and sat down beside her.“Contemplating your next creation?”
He smelled a bit like whisky, but not overly so.His cravat looked as though it had been loosened and retied.She could imagine why that had been necessary.
She sniffed.“No.”
He turned toward her.“Sarah, have you been crying?”The concern in his voice could have broken her, but she wouldn’t allow it.
“No.”
He frowned.“I can see you have.”He reached for her hand, but she stood up and stalked away from him.
She turned her back to him.“Save your concern.I don’t want it.”
“Nevertheless, you shall have it.”He’d come up behind her.She could hear his proximity—she could feel it too.
She spun about.“I said, I don’t want it.You are not my brother, Felix.You are not my husband.You are nothing to me.”
He moved closer.“Am I?”His voice was low, seductive, so tempting.This was not the way to pretend they’d never kissed.
She glanced at his rumpled cravat.“Don’t you dare flirt with me.Save that for your women.And especially don’t do that after you’ve just been with one.”
He narrowed his eyes at her.“Where do you think I’ve been?”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest.“I’m not stupid.”
“I have never for a moment thought you were.You think I was with a woman?”
“Where else would you and Anthony go?”She uncrossed her arms as emotion welled inside her.Tears threatened once more, and damn it, she was tired of crying.She wanted to leave, but the only way out was past him.“Never mind, I don’t care.”
She tried to walk by him, but he curled his arm around her and drew her into his arms.
“I know how it feels to be so overwhelmed by helplessness that you can hardly see straight.”
She’d wanted to push him away, but his words froze her in place.He sounded small and young and so unlike the Felix she knew.She let herself relax against him.He stroked her back, his hand moving gently up and down her spine.Suddenly, she didn’t want to cry anymore.
His lips grazed her temple, and she closed her eyes.She lifted one hand and placed it next to her face against his chest.His heart beat strong and sure beneath her palm, a song to ease the agitation inside her.
They stood together for what seemed forever, and Sarah thought she could go on like that for another eternity.She looked up at him, grateful for his presence.Standing on her toes, she kissed his cheek.
